I belong to a photography group on line and someone posted a question about bereavement photography "now i lay me down to sleep" photos of babies that have died. The photographer goes and take the photos free of charge, precious memories for the parents. so I checked out the site knowing full well..... I bawled. Dh came into the room and said whats wrong? I tried to tell him but I could not stop crying, I finally got it out. His response was don't show me, it is too hard. Then he said why do you do this? Why do I do this... I don't know but something pulls me in that direction it is hard to explain, I kind of know the pain these parents feel.
The site was beautiful and so very touching.
I would do this if I could, maybe when my boys are older.......
Later that night I was watching TV while feeding Ri and well it was about a boy that was kidnapped and I started to cry yet again, dh looked at me and said "why do you do this to yourself" I said your right and changed the channel.... and hugged my baby close to me.
Yesterday, what a beautiful day it was too.The Zoo was packed I mean packed..lol. I met up with my mum and sis H.When we went to pay that is when I noticed that they raised the entrance fee $ 20.00 up $5 from last year(I did not notice the price increase when I went a few weeks ago because I had a free pass), so now you better stay for then then just 1hr or 2... we stayed four..lol Lil O walked for most of it only sat to eat. He had so much fun, and he was such a good boy. The only thing that scared him was the elephants.
For a couple of weeks I feel like the only conversation Lil O and I have is me saying "No", "Not A toy" "Don't touch that" NO..... It gets real tiring after awhile and I don't want just those words coming out of my mouth, KWIM. Plus he now says no no lots..lol
So I was trying to think of what I could do after my 1,2,3 count (I don't like the spanking idea) and then it hit me a few nights ago while Supernanny was on (I have not seen this show for a while) the NAUGHTY SPOT...hmmmm I thought to myself. I started to look around my maid floor to think of the best naughty spot spot, which is beside the stairs going up and between the front door.
Then I put it to the test.....
I was cleaning and Lil O was wanting to touch the computer I told him no, don't touch that please, when he did it again I told him that is 1 ( he pulls his hands away) then he went for it again I said in a firmer voice O that is 2, If mommy has to tell you 3 you go to the Naughty spot. 2minutes go by he is just sitting there and then he reaches out and pushes the computer button and then looks at me... I said to him 3 to the naughty spot, mommy said not to touch and you did not listen. I took him to the spot sat him down and said you sit in the naughty spot for a minute because you did not listen and I walked away. He cried and got up and walked away I took him back sat him down and said you did not listen you stay in the naughty spot, then walked away again. He tried to walk away again I took him back without saying a word sat him down and walked away. And guess what he stayed he really stayed mind you e was crying his little head off but he stayed for the minute, then I went to him he gave me a hug and we went about our day.
The next day I used it again in the morning, I only had to put him in the spot once and he stayed crying, but for the rest of the day I never had to get to 3... can he really get it that fast. Most of the time when I'd say that's ONE he'd pull his hand back look at me and I'd say remember 3 means Naughty Spot and then he'd think about it a moment and move on to something else...lol YEAH.
But let me tell you that as I was getting ready to leave the house I changed his diaper 3x's yup 3x's in a matter of 5minutes..lol the reason for this is that he PEED on me 3 times in a row. After the second time I thought well there can not be more...so I washed him down with baby soap and water and just as I was down pee all over again.....I thought WHAT THE...lol...DH was laughing. Finally got Ri dressed (by this time he is screaming his little head off) put him in the car seat which he did not like one bit. DH said enjoy your drive..ha ha very funny.
Ri cried the whole way (30 min drive) only stopped to catch his breathe.....man does he have a good set of lungs on him.
anyways, Dr N is happy with his growth he is climbing the chart well and he is very proportioned.
Dr was nice she gave me 4 little cans of Enfamil A+ formula.
Went to Wal-Mart afterwards for some things and when I came out the clouds were dark, and as I was putting Ri in the car and I turned to walk around to my side these 2 men were standing behind the car (kind of freaked me out, I thought they were looking at me) looking up behind me so I turned and look and there was a funnel cloud, I never saw one in real life before (not that I want to either) I wished I had my camera on me at that point and I hoped that nothing came of it either. Nothing did come of it...thanks the heavens. because we have nowhere to hide if it did, our basement is a walk out and we have very big window down there and it is not developed all the way yet.
He will hate me for this later. Here is my son and for some reason he has a thing for shoes as youcan see..lol He tries to wear them all the time or else he carries them. (he is also attempting to sign shoes)
They are divorced...and when he divorced her he divorced me too, walked away washed his hands of me. I feel like he left me because I chose to live with my mum, my 3 sisters stayed with him (I was 9yrs old) (yes I know the reason to which I will not get into)
My mum is a strong woman she did a lot for me and I mean a lot (I realize this more so now then when I was younger)
Out of my 3 older sisters only one now speaks to him, in the last 7 yrs he managed to push 2 of them away my oldest sis is still hanging on to him....why???.
When growing up all I remember is being afraid of him somewhat, why I don't know but I was. Maybe I will post more on this one day but I can say he never beat us yes I have had spankings but never beatings.
children...they...we...are so innocent, yet so affected.
Lil O fell down the stairs, DH and I never moved so fast.
I was in his room putting his clothes away dh was on the computer on the main floor. Lil O was upstairs with me. He kept walking to the stairs and laughing then he started to take his toy bus to the stairs he wanted to push it down the stairs, well instead of the bus just going he went with it. I heard the thump and I ran and he was hanging onto the step (he fell half way before he held on for life) He is fine all our hearts are beating just a bit faster at the moment..lol