What a hard bittersweet day

I was call to take photos of a little baby that has passed yesterday. Baby L was only 48days on earth....Looks like SIDS. So sad I cried when I 1st went in and cried at the end. The mom asked how I was able to go thru my losses..that question took me back, I did not realize her Grandma told her of my past, my response was...step by step, minute by minute, day by day, you never forget.


Just like the pastor said one day you will carry this and it will not carry you.


But of course my losses were not quite the same don't get me wrong a loss of a baby at any time or stage is the hardest thing to have happen but I just can not imagine to have gotten to know my child, feed, touch, hold, kiss, smell and then it is all gone....oh how my heart aches, my world would crumble around me.


I hope baby L is at peace and may he find some friends in Heaven.


on the bittersweet side of it, my Si guy turned 1 today.

Please do not SPAM my blog

I will report it.

Walking with Dinosaurs

We took the boys to see Walking with Dinosaurs and I was impressed.


It was well done even tho you could see the "human legs" under some and the mini car (or whatever it is) under the larger ones but well enough hiding from the kids. It was loud and exciting for them. Lil O was sitting on the edge of his seat, when it started he did notice the thing under the dino's that moved them around and he asked loud enough if that was the Dinosaurs "pee pee"(he used the actual word just don't want to type it in here) and at times he would either grab a hold of me or his dad because the dinosaurs were fighting. When the T-rex came out he shouted out that is my dinosaur! Ri on the other hand was not so into it all he was ready to leave at the intermission time. By the time it was all over he was excited about Dinosaurs.


Ankylosaurus and T-rex (and the narrator to the right)

 

Torosaurs

Utahraptor

Tyrannosaurus Rex protecting her baby for the Torosaurus and Ankylosaurus

Shaking my head

I was feeding Si yesterday afternoon while the two older boys were playing up stairs. I could her them giggling away and running around Lil O lately loves talking about his body parts and was yelling one out quiet often, I told him that that is enough and to stop. I finished up with Si and could still here the other to giggling I heard Ri say oh there is a red car.. so I decided to sneak upstairs to see what they were doing (did not expect what I saw) and I neared the top of the stairs I heard lil O say the P( body part word) when I peaked over the ledge I saw they had no shirts on I thought ok they are copying daddy earlier walking around with no shirt till I see Ri get up onto the back of the couch (which is up against the large window to the front) the boy was naked I looked quickly to lil O and yup sure enough naked too....I then yelled out what do you too think you are doing they jumped down and scrambled to their rooms...( I am fighting the urge to laugh). Oh my poor neighbors were being flashed by my 5yr old and 3yr old boys...great.


I then explained to them that it is not nice to do that to people and that their body parts are private only for them to see. Mommy, daddy and the Dr at certain times other then that not for anyone else. I then later asked Lil O how many cars did they show themselves to? He said um 4. I then asked did they all see you boys and shook his head and said not all.


This all got me thinking again about how to protect them and make them aware of the "bad" people out there. I don't know how to really explain it all to them in the right way so they are not scared of everyone but atleast aware of them and how not to keep secrets from mommy & daddy. Any one know of any good books on this?

The boy can shoot

we went to Drumheller yesterday and I let Lil O use my old Digital Olympus UZ2100 I am impressed. I just let him go and this is what he shot I only sharped for web. the camera was on auto.


ofcourse the 1st shot was of himself:

  

 

  

 from the mouth of the dinosaur

 

mom dad and Si

mine will be up shortly if I so dare to post after these

Tweet tweet

Was out back with the boys today as they were playing in the sprinkler and as I was standing and watch these 2 birds kept flying around me just tweeting away...that is when I remembered the little Birdie nest under our deck right were I was stand so I turn to look and saw some movement. I stepped away and sure enough one of the adult birds flew over and then chirping started........they had the babies.....so I went and got the camera and a stool tried to get a couple of good shots of them but they were at an odd angel for me and the deck was in the way so this is the best I could do.

made some photo props

Now I just need a new born to photograph.... should of made these when Si was little (can not believe he is almost 1yr) 

Flowers for me

the boys were playing in the back today and they started chatting it up with the back neighbor DD "N" then the next thing I new she was over the fence...lol I asked her if her mom knew she climbed over she said her little sister told the mom. They played for a bit then Lil O invited her in to see his room....great the house is not that clean.


Back outside and I saw she was trying to climb back over and looked like she was having trouble then her mom came out with a latter and shaking her head saying I can not believe you climbed over.


That is one way to meet the neighbors..lol well dh and her dh have spoken but I have never really seeing her outside.


The boys played out for a bit longer and then Lil O came inside and said "momma I have a surprise for you" so I turned to look at him and he had this big ole smile on his face and that is when he pulled his hand from his back and there before me was my 1st Dandelion bouquet 

He was mighty proud of himself and insisted I put them in a vase.

Butterflies oh my...

Grandma and I took the boys to the Zoo the other day, they opened the new butterfly house so much nicer and more room to roam and I caught a couple of them chasing each other.

it was fun being in there, everyone was ducking and dodging the butterflies as they came right for you...My boys were having a blast.

just playing around

wow It has been a month since I last posted I am getting bad a this, lots to post but never seem to get around to it.


Just playing with the blogger design part since I just found it not sure how long it has been available..lol


I will be back to post some updates

10 months

my how times flies my baby had his (well what should of been his 9mth check up...well he is just 9mth if he would of been born and his due date) he is 17lbs and 74cm (29.1inch) 


10mths

9mths

 

If only I was a better

cook.


I am terrible at planing meals and my boys are terrible at eating. I feel like a failure in this department.
I just don't know where to start, I want to eat healthier and I want them to eat healthier but it is kind of hard when they won't try it (well Ri will try most things lil O won't) 


As dh was putting lil O to bed last night (I was feeding Si) Lil O said to him that he does not like some things I make that is why he does not eat it. (apparently he started to gag) when dh came down and told me this I felt like a failure...a failure in cooking and a failure as a mom.


I seriously do not know what to cook for them when one is so picky (even tho he promised dad he'd try more things....I know he won't) Where to start and what to do.  They do like fish and well that is the one thing I do not like. 


I need to start planing healthier meals and cooking them but when I am the only one to eat them I kind of don't feel like cooking ya know. and to add to it all dh has stopped eating many things like wheat, milk, and other things....which makes it hard to cook for him....I want to pull my hair out, it is so frustrating.

Hello Mother Nature

but I have to tell ya that this is the end of May 

it is not I repeat not Oct/Nov. I love snow but come on 7 months is long enough.

And he plays

sort of....... This past Monday we had soccer again and finally the weather was nicer then the last weeks. Lil O did not even want to play last week and he was whining not wanting to go on the field unless I was with him but that was a problem because I had Ri and Si with me (surprisingly Ri stayed off field and just sat and watched while he was covered with the blanket) anyways the game/practise was cut short because of the snow and rain that started to fall on us all. When we got home I talked with Lil O (trying not to show my disappointment because really I should not be) and then it hit me I knew how to get him on the field to at least try and play without whining and without mommy or daddy standing next to him. Grandma had giving him and Ri a plan to build and fly.... well I told him that if he play next Monday we will build the plane and fly it the next day. 
SO all week he kept bringing it up and saying that he was going to play soccer and not be shy so we can build the plane. Monday comes and we all start to walk to the field and as we were walking down the hill guess who wipes out...Lil O. well I thought the was the end (dh did to) and Lil O was crying and all dramatic Dh looked like he was ready to turn and take him home because he scratched his knee, I said no we will still go and watch (thinking he is not going to get off that easy) buy the time we got to the field he was better and was ready to play. Dh was walking Lil O onto the field and Lil O turned to him and said "Dad why are you out here with me go sit" Dh turned around sat next to me and said guess I am not needed...lol I said no he just really wants the plane.. 
 Lil O did awesome and he had tones of fun, kicked the ball a few time almost scored a goal even all the while a big ole smile on his face. He would even run by us and give the thumbs up or wave.

Need my girls back

breastfeeding is kind of hard at the moment, Si has two bottom teeth and OUCH! He is bitting pulling sometimes and well girls are a little sensitive now. I am thinking it is time to start to wean him off, the only thing is how too. I tried to give him some formula and that did not go over to well...... any tips out there?

Soccer

Li O had his 1st soccer meet and he was a little shy to begin with so daddy had to go on the field with him as the coach was showing them what to do. He would not really interact with the other kids (which makes me feel guilty, since we are hardly around any his age). half way through he started to have a smile on his face and then they played a game and he actually was running for the ball but would not kick it. When it was turn to switch off for a break he did not understand that he had to wait till the coach called him back onto the field  because he was raring to go. When it was his turn to play again all seemed great the bam he ran off the field to us and did not want to go back. Meanwhile Ri, Si and I were shivering because it was cold and I failed in bringing a blanket with us. 

Ri was wanting to go so Dh stayed with lil O (which surprised me that Lil O stayed at all) and I walked back home with Ri and SI. Only to to not have the house keys on me so we had to sit outside and wait for Dh and Lil O to show up. thankfully the house was blocking the wind. 

I guess Lil O did not play anymore after we left because he wiped out and started to cry.

anyways here are a couple of shots of him playing.

So now I hope he plays on his own this Monday since Dh has to work or it will be interesting to say the least with Si and Ri with me.

Mine is bigger

The boys were on the deck and our neighbor was out back in his yard and I over heard Lil O talking with our him and he ask "J" if his house was bigger then ours J responded with "hmm I don't think so" Lil O said Oh (then a long pause, I knew at that point he was checking out the houses) then he piped up and said yeah my house is bigger then yours, yours is small. J laughed.
Out of the mouth of kids....


*Just to let you know our house is a two story walk out and the neighbors is a bungalow walkout.




Now for Ri, the little guy is a nightmare for potty training he is driving me insane! The boy just does not seem to care if he goes in his pants and if I ask if he needs to go potty he yells and says NO I"M EMPTY! I still take him and he still goes potty...(so much for being empty eh) Some days are good other days not so good.


Si is still breastfeeding and is eating some sweet potatoes, broccoli,  cauliflower, peas and butternut squash and is loving every bite, apparently to him I do not feed him fast enough he makes the strangest noise and his little hands and feet go like made till I stuff his mouth with food.

A tooth

I don't know if I want to cry or smile but my baby boy has cut his 1st tooth.


As I was playing with him last night and while he was giggling away I noticed some white on his gum and on closer examination I saw it was a little pearly white poking through. 


I am in denial my baby is growing my last little man is growing so fast right before my eyes, I still feel like he is 3months old (why that age I don't know)
He is a month and a half ahead of his brothers on the tooth department. 


on another note he is LOVING the jumper I will have to post a video here later.

A shot for you and for you

Took Lil O and Si to the clinic the other day and we survived.

In the morning I tried to prep Lil O before we got there. I mention that he and Si are going for a check up today and that the nurse is going to weight and measure them, his response "Oh (pause) am I going to get a needle? because I don't want a needle." How he thought of that not sure. I just mentioned that the check up was to see how they are growing and they may have to get one to help them not get sick. again he said "Ohh, (pause) what about Ri?" Ri does not need one yet since he is not going to school soon. "Oh, ... then I don't want to go to school" lol

Si handled it all as well as could be he cried for a moment then was done.

here are the boys comparison at 6mths
Lil O
Weight ~ 14.1 lbs (6.3 kilogram)
Height ~ 66cm (26. Inches)
Head Cir ~ 43cm (17 inches)


Ri
Weight ~ 14lbs 2oz ( 6.4 kilogram)
Height ~ 64cm (25.2inch)
Head ~ 42.2cm (16.61 inch)

Si
Weight ~ 14lbs 2oz ( 6.4 kilogram)
Height ~ 66cm (25.9inch)
Head ~ 43cm (16.9 inch)

and here I was thinking Si was the chunkier one and he is not.

Back to living

and breathing.... 

It all started with Ri, I noticed while we were out at the Mall about 4wks back watery eyes and he was whinny.... a lovely cold grabbed a hold of him and then yes he decided to share with Lil O who then shared it with Si who then passed it on to me. Guess who got the worst of it all yup me! I thought my head was going to explode! Still stuffed up some but much much better now..... so glad the boys did not get it as bad as me.

anyways I got my 1st Valentines flowers form dh this V-day I was surprised. (he is not a fan of celebrating these days, he does not think that one day should be for expressing your love....it should be everyday) but DH hardly ever buys me flowers I can count how many times he has on both my hands and still fingers to count.