Well she is late again....

1 week AF is MIA and nope not pg.

I'm alive.......

Man I have been busy with my photography stuff. I took some photo of a Fitness Competitor. After we did this shoot she went to NYC for a competition and she came in 3rd now she is going to Worlds (I believe she said)

Here are a couple of photos:


She was fun to work with, look forward to shoot her again.

Now that I am done these I am off to edit some Boudoir and family shoots I have taken.

O looky it is a band aid

Lil O some how got his finger caught in the baby gate and in doing so cut his finger, screaming crying and squeezing mommy or daddy so tight in the process....then he calmed down. After daddy was done washing it I came in with the band aid...he looked at me like that is going where?? When I was done getting it on lil O announced "All better mama, thank you"

Guess it was not so bad...

Look who's 3

Man he has grown



Here he is today.


Sorry the shot is not so great, he would not stay still and Ri was hanging onto me..lol

Not good news when the Dr calls

Dr S called just now (fertility clinic) and informed me that my last FSH # jumped to 34 then went on to say the it most likely that I may not get pg again and to even have a good outcome if I do. If by miracle I do get pg I am to call her asap...



She said that she see this a lot in women that have Uterine Anomalies and that she was sorry.... my only response was "Yeah for infertility"...

I feel empty and that my body has yet again betrayed me. So now I am sitting here with tears falling down my cheeks.

Well I am very very grateful for my 2 boys.

Well it looks like the O fairy

may come to visit. I was at Co-op the other day and they had a sale bin and in it was an Ovulating kit (5 sticks) for $8 bucks I snatched it up.


Two dark lines to say that I shall be O'ing in 24-36 hours so of course we did the deed. Now the 2ww begins.

Sorry to those that opened this post and saw 2 lines 1st....nope not pg yet.

Please let me know if my blog is

to wide or if something is off, I was playing around with it but it is now 2am and I really need to go to bed...lol

Got my butt out the door

and went to one of the parks here in the city. It has been awhile since I walked around this park. In the winter it is a skating rink.... Lots of memories came back, funny how that happens, memories of when I was about 5 or 6yrs old. There was a play park with rides and little cars to ride and a kiddie train that went around part of the park...But all that is gone and it is closed off it is just traces of those rides left and the track of the train (I should of took a photo of that).
They did put of little kid parks along the path ways tho I saw about 4 of them. I was impressed at how well the park was kept up, an elderly lady stopped to chat and she said that she has been coming to this park since 1951 and for a while she said that it was not looking good and now it is a beautiful park to walk around in and she gets such a pleasure at seeing little ones walking around here.

I love digital because I shot over 200 photos today........

Oh that sister of mine

She just about got me too... J loves to throw a prank out there every now and then.

J called me and asked if I checked my email yet today, I said no. She told me to go look because she wants to know if it is true......(I am already flustered at this point with something else.) I open my email and I see this:

I think "what the" when I read it....and wondered how or how someone could do this. Then I started to look at it more and thinking to myself that is not a scanned image and the typo error.....I am still investigating it when I hear her start to giggle, then I new it was a joke.... I told her she almost had me.....lol

She wants to do this to my other sis H...

I have to think of something to get her back....hmmmmmm

Have you ever said yes but knew you should of said no...

That is what I did and now I am trying to figure how to get out of it..... I am getting all stressed and emotional over it. Backtracking is hard to do. I need a backbone.......

Oh what a sight....

If only I had the guts to pull my camera out of the bag.....

I took the boys to a little park yesterday (one we do not go to often) Just as we were getting ready to leave and saw this young girl or pre-teen walking with a stroller towards us, when I got a closer look she had her dog in the stroller (this is a baby stroller not the dog kind...) I was like oh okay interesting never thought to do that as a kid. She then gets the dog out for the stroller, I thought she was going to go over to the grassy field part of the park but no she took it to the slide and they went down it walked along the jungle gym part and then she put it in the baby swing (this is where I wish I could just pull out my camera and shot) Here I am worried about someone looking at me funny with a camera and yet here is this girl just doing her thing and pushing the dog in the baby swing.......

Look at my boy.....

My baby is turning into a toddler.....whaaaaaaaa. For the last couple of week or so he was taking a few steps between DH and I and the on the 26th he started to do it all on his own:

And a photo of the little man himself.

$87.23

That is what this costs me:


15 little pills (150mg of clomid) that I have to take for 5days not to mention the major hot flashes that have been coming my way oh and the mood swings.

As you can guess af found me she left as fast as she came, I had lite spotting for a day and then gone....poof. No cramps this time, One day shy of 3wks late.

Last Friday (22nd) I went to Wally world to fill the clomid prescription and I dropped it off walked around the store for a few minutes. When I came back to the pharmacy the pharmacist said that it was not done yet because they were not sure if my Dr made an error on the slip and wrote 150mg down instead of 100mg, apparently they are advises not to give 150mg to anyone..... So she tried calling the clinic and got voice mail so they sent a fax and were waiting for a response, this is a 3pm the clinic closes at 4pm....... So I left without my clomid and they said they'd call when it was ready. I guess the clinic called them Saturday because the called to say I can come get it, the pharmacist said that my Dr did not seem to concerned and said that she has giving that out to a few of her patients.

So I am home taking the hot flashing moody filled drug.....

Well I was attemping to shooting Lighting but then this happened.....

As far as I know everyone got out, the teenagers were only home not sure where mom was or is and dad was at work....from what the other neighbor told me the kids were smoking in the garage and the cig landed in a gas/oil pan.

My son saw it 1st he was eating his supper when I heard him say "oh mama look fire" ...I though what so I looked out the window and sure enough(It was small at this point only in the garage), so I scrambled for the phone to call 911 ...... So scary when it is so close to home. It all happened so fast and then it was this ball of fire I could feel the heat when looking out the window.....Neighbors were scrambling. The houses on both side of this were damage aswell I'd say from what I could see 2 of the 3 are lost.

A family needs prayers tonight..






I am still shaking

And it begins

Ri is starting to walk....YEAH... (I think) I am wondering if I need to become the "Incredible" mom with the arms that stretch to no end.



That's my boy/s as you see Lil O had to get in on it.

Ok who is holding AF hostage....hmmmm

somebody PLEASE send her my way... 1w 2days late... nope not pg.

On this day 8yrs ago

I married my friend
the one I laugh with,
Dream with
live for
love

My marriage is great we have had no major battles other then trying for a baby.... I love you

Ask if I am surprised..........

now if it was positive I would of been surprised. So where is AF oh where can she be, I want her to find me please please please..........

Well still no

sign of AF...... I have no pg tests here and I will not be able to get out tomorrow since mum and J are coming over and I do not need to get their hopes up yet.

Hmmm well no sign of spot or af

so does this mean I am either pg (which I do not think so) or my FSH levels are still high...... Spot always arrives 2days before AF and AF is due Monday.

---

I am for some reason finding it really hard to leave the house, it just seems like so much work to pack everything up....maybe I pack to much...lol.... Diaper bag, juice, snacks, ect... my camera and not to mention I have to get dressed, I want to at least look presentable when I leave the house. I just keep finding excuses to not go out and yet I would like to get out and I really want to get the boys out and yet I find myself staying in and feeling guilty.


On another note this little guy flew into our window, I am amazed he was not hurt just more stunned then anything or scared the crap out of him (as you can see). He stayed there for quiet awhile the flew to the ledge hung out for a bit the flew off. He was still pretty tiny and must be learning to fly and had his 1st lesson in windows.....