What is Orion up to....

Well my boy is all boy...lol

He is turning into a stunt boy. He tries to climb the baby gate, He goes after the dog Misty and I am impressed with her because he takes her bone and she lets him (I do keep a very close eye on them together) and then there are the cats the now notice hOrion moves faster now but they let him touch them then they are out of there..lol

He is so close to taking his 1st steps, he pulls himself up then looks over at me and lets go and starts to go up on his tippy toes then he falls on his butt only to start all over again. He also has the little car he ride and likes to scare mommy by doing a pop a wheelie but going on the front tires not the back one, so I invision a face plant but he sees mommy having a heart attach and that is funny to him..lol that is my boy.

here are Orions look alikes.

Something fun, My Celebrity look alikes.....

I guess I can not complain....lol
thanks to Stephanie a buddy blog for the link Expressions of Luv

Dr update on the Babe

15w 3d

I went to Dr N on Friday (I had to go to her 1st before I see Dr O the high risk Dr) Dr N check everything out, did the lovely pap swab, I told her it has felt like forever since I have had one but it has only been 1yr. I guess with all the fertilty Dr looking at me I got use to it, having 1yr without any poking and Dr looking at me inside and out was a nice break.

So when it came time for her to check the heart beat, she seemed proud to show me it (I did not have the heart to tell her that I have a doppler at home to...lol) so I smiled and said that is music to my ears. She said all is looking good and my uterus is measuring where it should be about 15weeks. She went by my last af but she nows that the babe is measuring 4days behind from the u/s's. Then she filled out my prescription for my thyroid and then the recquestion form for all the other tests I had to have. 5 viles of blood they took from me and one of them was really long, good thing needles do not bother me.

I am now waiting for Dr n office to call me back to let me know when my 18week u/s will be.

-----

Last night I was having dreams of William and they kept waking me up, maybe I was having them because a friend was due yesterday to have had her baby boy J but instead 4months ago she had to say hello and goodbye to him and she showed a video that she did for his memory. That got me thinking aging that I wanted to do somthing for William, so yes I guess he has been on my mind alot lately, even my Dr N asked if I think of him often I told her yes I do.

I will make a video in memory of William and I will post it on the day that we had to say "Hello and Goodbye" to him. So thanks to Jules for finally making able to do it.

I called Dr O

14w2d

I mentioned that I was with the fertility clinic and that I am on the IVIG program and the my last baby was a premiee and that Dr O said he wanted to follow this pg aswell and the nurse I spoke with pulled up my name and saw that I was there last year but said she saw no referrals yet, the booking lady S was not in till Thursday. So I said I will call her tomorrow.

Well Thursday came and what do you know the booking nurse called me 1st. My appointment is set for Nov 28th at 1pm. I am to go to my "normal" Dr N 1st to get all the blood work done and to have her set up my 19week u/s, this thru me off because I did not have to do this with my pg with Orion.She then counted to what week I'd be when I saw them she said almost 18weeks (by my books from last af I will be 18w, the babe is still measuring 4days behind) The nurse said that she will fax all the info to Dr N this afternoon so I said then I will call her tomorrow, then and we hung up.

I went out and when I got home there was a message from Dr N's office that they received a fax from Dr O and that they want to set up an appointment very soon. It was to late to call back so I called Friday morning and Nurse R said hello I guess we need to set something up pretty quick..lol. So Friday it is on the 10th of Nov 10am.

Forgot to mention Fertility Clinic update

When I went to the clinic I saw Dr W instead of my normal Dr S (I have not seen much of her this time around) Dr W said all looks great and they are going to release me then he went on to say that the risk for me to miscarry past this stage is very low. I just looked at him and wondered have you read my big fat file that you are holding? So I said to him, well I have had a 19w loss so the odds are against me and Dr O (another Dr at the clinic, who has his own clinic for highrisk out side of the fertility Clinic plus he follow me with Orion's pg) said he wants to follow my pg again. Dr W said oh do you have a referral for him? I said, No, Dr O told me so himself at my last appointment here that he wants to follow my pg agian. Dr W then said, Dr O told you this? Yes Dr O did, I am on the IVIG program and my son was a preemie. Oh says Dr W, I will get his office to call you for an appointment.

I have waited the week so I am going to call Dr O's office to see if they have my file yet for an appointment. Because I am NOT going to have happen what happen when I was pg with William. It took forever for the Dr B's office to make an appointment (almost 2months!) and when they did finally call my appt was for Dec 30 (almost 3months since last) but I ended up going in to preterm labouron Dec 21st with William and we know what happened after that (heaven is where he is) . Monday I am calling Dr O.

There is a baby in there....

12w6d

Update on the Nuchal Translucency ultrasound.

The babe was pretty active, it took 3hrs to finally get the fluid measurement that they needed.....(so I am thinking girl...lol)

Baby is measuring 4 days behind which they are not concerned about and at my 1st u/s babe was measuring 4days behind. Heart rate was 153 bpm. Everything appears normal.

The risk of Trisomy 21 is 1 in 2,059
and the risk for Trisomy 13+18 is 1 in 10,548
so we are looking good.

I still can not beleive we were there for almost 3 hours, the baby would not cooperate kept flipping and turning and bouncing around it was quiet fun to watch because Orion never moved around like that, this one must have more room or we are in trouble.
Orion was so good thru out the whole time Grandma and grandpa were there watching him so that did make it easier.

Here is the newest member of our family: Babe

I am in awe still, it has really started to hit home more now I actually do have a baby in there, yet again..lol More u/s photos in Baby #2 gallery (to the right)

They are saying due date for May 5 2007 but I know we will not make it to May.

Nuchal Translucency U/S today

12w6d

So if any can send some good U/S vibes our way that would be great.
Nuchal Translucency u/s is at 1:30pm then I also see the Dr a the fertility clinic at 3:30 aswell for my last appointment with them since I am past 12w I will then be moved onto Dr O. whom I had with Orion, he said he wants to follow me again with the pg.

Orion will be with us so lets hope he is a good boy since the appointment is at his nap time. Should be interesting..

I listened to the babes hb last night and counted it to be at least 150bpm. (I counted the hert beat for 10sec then times that by 6 to get the BPM.)

Oh and the werid thing is that my last AF was July 25th and when I had my last u/s the Babe measured 4days behind so the nurse wrote down on my requesition form for the Nuchal u/s that my last af was July 29th, so when I called her and asked about it she said that they make it from the u/s not af....what?? So basically they are telling my that I had af on the 20th when she was really here in "real" life on the 25th...interesting. So when I go to the scan today they will as when I had last AF and I will tell them July 25th.

What a mixture

Hormones & dreams with that combination my dreams are strange.

DH had to wake me a couple of nights ago due to me breathing heavy. When he woke me I said thank you then started to laugh as I thought of my dream.. I was dreaming I was on a pirate ship and these alein type things that glowed came flying out of the water chasing the boat so I saw a rock on the floor and picked it up and then leaned over the edge of the boat and was waiting for this thing to get closer and closer and I was getting scared because I had to wait for it to be really close (hince the breathing heavy) .... When dh woke me I was almost ready to toss the rock at it and praying that I hit it....

the next night:

I was dreaming of spiders that they were in my room beside my bed in a sink and I was blowing them away, that is when I woke up to me blowing then I stopped and thought wait a minute there is no sink beside my bed, So I was dreaming again..... back to slep I went.

Thump a thump a thump

(11w 5d)

is what I finally heard ..... what a sweet sweet sound.

I bought a doppler off of Ebay, it works like a charm. Having a doppler sure can ease the mind just that much more.

I feel a little guilty about this pg because it is not on my mind as often as when I was pg with Orion, I guess he keeps me distracted which in a sense can be good right? But yet I feel like this baby is being "neglected" in a way even though it is not.

How you doing.....

eh eh eh (in other words)

I went grocery shopping with Orion and when I went into the produce area this other mom went by with her baby "girl" (about the same age as Orion). *1st picture this Orion is sitting in the cart with one leg threw the hole the other resting straight out on the seat, his back is leaning on the side of is and his arms are resting with one on the back of the seat the other on the front handle. So he can look at me and see what is in front of him,* anyways back to the baby girl...... Orion see her and starts to grunt and yell Eh eh eh at her then reaching at her with his right arm and he kept doing this till the mom and the baby girl look at him and then Orion puts his hand up like a wave and says Ayeeeee and laughs. The mom with the baby girl has her dd wave at Orion and then they (the babies) giggle.... and off we went our separate ways...

He is smooth already, watch out girls Orion is on the prowl........

My baby or shall I say my little boy's 1yr check up..

He is getting so big.

As we were waiting you could hear the screams of the other babies and toddlers getting there needles. Everytime there was a scream Orion would look at me and smile, I was just waiting for him to scream back like the Wall-mart baby call the other day but he did not....Whew...lol.

Orion did well he let the nurse weigh him then measure his length and they are:

Weight ~ 20 lbs (9.07kg)
Height ~ 29.3 inches (74.5cm)

he is almost at the 50%. Now for the needle....

The nurse takes us into room 4 sits us down and explains what Orion will be getting (live viruses) and that it could take up to 40 days for any reaction. Orion was watching her as she was getting the needles ready then she asks me to hold onto his wrist. Then she comes around and says this 1st one does not sting and pokes Orion in the arm, little man did not jump but when she took the needle out he started to cry a little. I then held his other wrist and the nurse said this one sting (the measle one) and up it must of because Orion let us know...lol The nursee opened the door to her room and as I walked out Orion went quiet, like he was relieved to be out of there. Other then that 2minuts of crying my little guy was once again a trooper, that is my boy.


Now daddy has to go get the shot for chickenpocks because he does not think hes has had them and the nurse said it is very dangerous for an adult to get it. Orion can break out in "wannabe" chickenpocks and it he does and if dh happens to touch those little white welts (that will have the virus) she said dh will get it, so off to the needle for him. I have had the chickenpocks when I was a kid so I am good to go.

The baby call....

I went to Walmart this afternoon (yes I shop there). There was this other baby somewhere in the store and he/she would squeal, Orion would laugh then he'd squeal then you'd hear the other squeal and so on and so on it went on the whole time we were there even in the line up. That boy of mine has quiet the squeal on him in fact he squeals like a girl..lol.

Photos with my new camera

Once again it is a Canon XTi 400D This was taken at a park not to far from where I live:


A duck in the park:


And my favorite subject:


thanks for looking

PG update....

9 weeks 3 days

Spot has vanished for now that is, still do the TP check everytime.

I gag every morning, before I eat my breakfast. My levels must be good still because the clinic has not called me in a panic. My belly seems to be sticking out a bit more already...lol I guess I will have to start taking belly pics but that makes me nevous because I don't want to jinx myself.....

He's crawling he's crawling

my little boy is crawling......

I was upstairs in my room with Orion when he got up on all fours and crawled to me, what a joy that was to see but yet sad at the same time, my baby is growing up.

So I took him downstairs so I could video it for proof to daddy because if I don't get the proof little man will not do it for daddy...

Here is a link to the video: Orion Crawling

Bad dream....

I was dreaming I was watching Orion laying and playing on the floor then all of a sudden I could see he was choking, in this dream all I seemed to be able to do is watch it all.........
So I wake up throw the covers off me sit up in bed and then I realized it was all a dream because if he was choking or not breating I would hear it on the baby monitor or the angel care monitor would be going off. So I lay my head back down on my pillow close my eyes and pray not to have another dream like that.

You know...

8w4d

We make plans for this new baby we have picked names for this baby, meanwhile in the back of my mind I know all to well that ANYTHING can happen. I have lost babys at 6w, 9w, 12,w, 11,w and 19w, and had Orion at 33w, It could very well happen again. I am not going into this pg with a blind eye because I know the pain that can happen all to well, I just choose to try to be positive about it and that is what I am doing even tho I am still spotting I have weird pains every now and then and the ONLY pg symptom I have is gagging with food and the smell of Orions diaper. It freaks me out some that my breasts are not sore like all the other times (this is where I have to remind myself that every pg is different) ... One minute one hour one day at at time is all I can do.

Two more pearly whites I see

Orion's 2 eye teeth are starting to show there way thru and once again little man is taking it like a champ no complaints what so ever.

Orion has also started to do the army crawl a couple of days ago, it is quiet funny to watch but he gets around. He tosses a toy infront of him then drags himself to it then tosses it again.

Chinese Gender Chart

says I am going to have another boy.... Here is a link to the Chinese Gender Chart
I believe we have a boys name picked, now the middle name DH says the same middle name that he has along with his dad and granddad and ofcourse Orion, now is it weird to have siblings with the same middle name?

Hopefully I will have 5 to 6 more months to figure it out.

I am shaking here

I just ordered a camera Canon Rebel XTi 400D off the internet (an Ebay store, YIKES), this is kindof SCARY..... this is alot of money I ended up spending about $300.00 more then I planed (those dang upgrades they get you on). I was nervous to tell DH that I spent a bit more, when I did he smiled and jokingly said theat means he has to work 48hrs for that camera..lol then asked it if I am excited...lol. It should be here in about 2weeks time.


Comes with:

Plus 1 Sigma 18-50mm F3.5-5.6 DC
Plus 1 Sigma 55-200mm F4-5.6 DC
Plus 2 Lens Pouches
Plus 2 Lens Cap Holders
Plus 2 Lens Hoods
Plus 2 UV Filters
Plus 1 2-Gigabyte Compact Flash
Plus 1 USB Memory Card Reader
Plus 1 Deluxe Carrying Bag
Plus 1 Deluxe Video & Photo Tripod
Plus 1 Camera/Video Mini Tripod
Plus 1 3 Pc. Lens Cleaning Kit


As I mention I upgraded a few things.

I can not wait to get my hands on it...lol Poor Orion and the cats, the boy can't run from me yet but the cats can...lol

Please let everything work out good, PLEASE.

Well it is nice to know I made a nice bed for

some bunny this morning...lol



then DH left for work....Run bunny run...



Yes it snowed here and today it is to be a high of 5°C

Need to go buy a coat and hat for the little man.... Walmart here I come.

My Miracle my Dream .... Turned one today....

Happy 1st Birthday Orion

I am still truly amazed by this little boy, he is everything and more that I had hope for.... The emotions that feel me when I think back to 1yr ago today, I was at work when my water broke at 9:30am. Dh met me at the hosp. around 11am (I think) 12 hours and 1minute (fr when my water broke) later our son entered this world crying at 9:31pm, 2 weeks 4days later he came home from the hospital.

Here are some more pics of the birthday boy:

Orion's 1st Birthday Party

We held it on the 9th since he real b-day was on the week day.
(click on pics to see bigger)



The birthday cake:


He is not to sure about the cake..lol then he started to cry either from everyone signing to him or he did not like the feel of the cake...lol


the day after...

Ultrasound update.

7 weeks 0 days

When I arrive at the u/s clinic I was surprized not to have to wait to long. Then the girl took me to the back and gave me a gown (which I new was the wrong gown, I mentioned it to her) that is when the other girl came up and said oh you need to give her this one. As they walked away the I heard the one say "I never seen one come in for that early of one..."

I put on the blue gown and sit and wait and once again I hear my name sooner then I expected..lol. I peek out of my dressing room to see a guy u/s tech and well the thoughts that went thru my head I was hoping so hard that I would not need a vaginal u/s (because there was no way I'd want him to do it, a Dr is different). So he asks the normal questions "when my last af was" "how many pg's I have had" "How many children I have" Then he tells me to hop on the table (please no vaginal pleeease) I pull the gown up as he asks he then places the paper sheet on the lower half (I am thinking ok this is weird) I then ask him for pictures, yes I know it is just a blob but we want pics please.

As he was scanning my belly I saw that wonderful sight right away, my baby's heart beating....breathe........ and no vaginal u/s needed....lol

Introducing baby #2: (click to see a bigger pic)


Baby is measuring 6w3d I am 7w today, heart rate was 125bpm which is good. He also should me the Subchorionic Hematoma pic below


Ultrasound all done time to see the Dr. Which is a short 30sec walk across the hall.

Dr O walks in and looks at me and ask "I have seen you before?" I said "yes you watched me with my last pg" he said "Oh yes, how is your son doing? He was born early right?" me "He is doing great and yes born at 33w" He said baby is looking good so far and that there is still some bleeding around it, they will keep an eye on it. Then he is looking at my chart and asks if Dr S was referring me back to him? I said she has not mentioned it yet. Dr O said that he wants too see me again, so he will make a note of it in my file and mention it to Dr S. He then asked if I was back on the IVIG. Yes I am. Then he said I will definantly be watching you not many other Dr's other then the fertility clinic know much about the IVIG treatments.
Dr O also said that in theory my UU should hold this pg a bit longer maybe a week or two more but I am not guaranteed that he said I am pretty sure you will have another preemie..... You are a complicate case....lol

Nice to know I am complicated but I am gald he will be my Dr once again.

TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN (2001-911)

This was sent to me in an e-mail:

WHOEVER WROTE THIS SHOULD STEP FORWARD AND CLAIM IT!
THE WORDS ARE POWERFUL:

TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN (2001-911)

Two thousand one, nine eleven
Three thousand plus arrive in heaven
As they pass through the gate,
Thousands more appear in wait

A bearded man with stovepipe hat
Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"
They settle down in seats of clouds
A man named Martin shouts out proud
"I have a dream!" and once he did
The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."

Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
Others in khaki, and green then say
"We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."

From a man on sticks one could hear
"The only thing we have to fear.
The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
Trust us sir, we've passed that test."

"Courage doesn't hide in caves
You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
The Newcomers had heard this voice before
A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores

A silence fell within the mist
Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
Meant time had come for her to say
What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day

"Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
Watched our children play in sports
Worked our gardens, sang our songs
Went to church and clipped coupons

We smiled, we laughed,
we cried, we fought
Unlike you, great we're not"

The tall man in the stovepipe hat
Stood and said, "Don't talk like that!
Look at your country, look and see
You died for freedom, just like me"

Then, before them all appeared a scene
Of rubbled streets and twisted beams
Death, destruction, smoke and dust
And people working just 'cause they must

Hauling ash, lifting stones,
Knee deep in hell, but not alone
"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
Side by side helping their fellow man!"

So said Martin, as he watched the scene
"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."
Down below three firemen raised
The colors high into ashen haze

The soldiers above had seen it before
On Iwo Jima back in '45
The man on sticks studied everything closely
Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly

"I see pain, I see tears,
I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear."
"You left behind husbands and wives
Daughters and sons and so many lives
Are suffering now because of this wrong
But look very closely. You're not really gone.

All of those people, even those who've never met you
All of their lives, they'll never forget you
Don't you see what has happened?
Don't you see what you've done?
You've brought them together, together as one.

With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
"Take my hand," and from there he led
Three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven
On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven

Author UNKNOWN (What a shame!)

Dare I say it.....

6w5d

I am nauseous ( I so do not want to jinx myself) but when I woke this morning I felt ill, I gag eating breakfast, the thought of just eating through out the day made me want to dry heave I have also wanted to just sleep today but I can not little man keeps me busy..... and yet this all makes me smile with happiness...
2 more days till my u/s.

Ultrasound update....

6w3d

As you know it I happened to hit every red light and there seems to be construction on every corner, I arrived 20min after they wanted me there.

Well Dr S saw right away that the baby is in the uterus (that is good news). Then she saw a blood clot and said that is why your bleeding then she looked at the baby and said "ah there you see it a nice beating heart"...... then I breathed.

Dr said that I seem to find every hiccup in the road thru a pg, she told me no sex and to take it easy. Easy hmm I have Orion's B-day party tomorrow, thank god for my mum and sisters they already offered to do what ever is needed to be done.

Anyone have a story of a succseful pg with a clot?

still not out of the woods tho...... Hope there is still a beating heart at my u/s next week.

Going for an ultrasound....

Nurse M called back from Dr S office (Fertility Clinic) and she said that Dr S would like me to come in for an u/s at 11:20, I am nervous. This means Dr S must of thought about me at some point and wondered what ws going on.

I feel doomed but yet still hoping for the best.

The thoughts that go thru my head....

As I put Orion to bed. I kiss him say I love you and as I am holding him I wonder, truly wonder, is he really my "miracle" will he be the only one that was able to fight my body and escape it alive. I have to wonder this because really how many women actually bled with all of there pg's I am pretty sure not to many.... and here I am on my 7th pg and bleeding and only so far one baby to show for it all, my miracle boy.



5 days till my u/s to see how this wee one is really doing or has my body yet again fought off another precious soul................ 5 long days. (sigh)

Let take it one day at a time

that is what the Nurse said, Dr S wants to take it one day at a time because my numbers look great and I have no cramping. If things change I am to call them and if it is after hours to go to the hosp.
I still have my u/s for the 12th. I anything does happen I pray it does not happen on Orion b-day party on Sat.

Please little baby stick & hold on tight..........

Clinic called back... *Edited*

after I called them at 8am.

Tuesday when I get my blood drawnin 6w pg the #'s were 24,436 that is great.

The Nurse M asked a few questions and said she will talk with Dr S about it and see what she wants to do...then call me back.

I feel somewhat more at ease, dh let me have a nap this morning...lol

So I wait for another call...

----

I just went to the bathroom blood was on my pantie liner and it was not just a spot...

Dang it.... I see blood .....

I am crying.

It could be nothing it could be the progesteron irritating my cervix or it could be the unthinkable happing yet again....

I will call the clinic 1st thing in the morning...... why why why can't it be easy for once..... WHY!

I have no cramping but then I don't have any pg symptoms either other then my HCG levels rising (which I will get the results tomorrow from Tuesdays blood draw)....... maybe the clinic will beat me to it and call to tell me they have dropped, which would not be good......... hoping for the best.

6 weeks 1 day pg today

still don't feel pg, and that has me worried some. Ultrasound is booked for the 12th next week, holding my breathe till then....

About You
Your uterus is the size of a plum, your breasts may be incredibly tender, and, ugh, you may start feeling some odd symptoms, though for some women the morning sickness doesn't kick in until later (if at all).


About Your Baby
This week your embryo is working very hard to begin growing its nervous system. There's a primitive heart now, and just wait until it can show you its love! Tiny buds have appeared, and if all goes well, these will someday be arms to hug you and legs to kick at you during temper tantrums. By now, your baby displays reflexes in response to a touch! This means his nervous system is communicating with his primitive muscle cells. This communication forms the foundation of all your baby's behavior even after birth.

Orion's 1yr check up...

I can not believe he is going to be a one year old next week.

Dr N was happy with him, she said he is looking good and doing very well said she loves his eyes.

Birth / 1 year
W ~ 4lbs 2.2 oz 20lbs 3 oz
H ~ 17 3/4 inches 29 1/2 inches

He did not like her holding him (he is going thru that stage now nobody but mommy can hold him) so he cried some but once back in my arms he was smiling, it is so funny how fast the switch the tears on and off..lol I will start to introduce Homo milk to him.

When I got home dh was here so I told him the info and he said what is that suppose to mean (duh it means your son is growing and he is healthy) then he said what does the charts say and not the 1yr the ten month...... What??? Yes I know they adjust preemies age for the 1st 2 yrs but the boy is ONE he was born one year ago (yes his adjusted age is 10 month 1week but yet he is one) and another thing dh said after I told him that Orion and start on Homo milk he asked "So does that mean he will be off the formula?" "yes" I say. Then he says "So that means you have to feed him." "Um he is eating now, (if you'd stop being such a workaholic you would see that ... I thought)" The man is driving me crazy, maybe it is my PG hormones but he is so on my nerves lately.

I am having Orions b-day party this weekend, his 1st taste of cake.

A Yummy recipe....

It is very easy, make sure you do the couscous part to "Make it a Meal" at the bottom of the page and make sure you follow the direction on the box for the couscous. (I use the whole box) Click on pic to see bigger.


Hope you like it too.

---

I had a peacful sleep last night no creepy crawlies came to visit....

I HATE bad dreams.....

I got very little sleep lastnight. 1st Orion woke at midnight so I went to him (he had that cry that I new he needed me) all I have to do is put my hand on him and he quiets down but as soon as I'd take my hand off he'd start cry (this is not him) so I pick him up and cuddle him close, he lays his head on my should and I rock him (I do not speak, I just hold him) and he settled down after a few minutes I lay him back down and off to sleep he went....Must of been a dream....

I go back to bed no problem falling back to sleep but man I had a bad dream and it was the kind of dream that kept coming back no matter how many times I woke to shake it....it just kept coming back.....Dang spiders were everywhere all types big, small, fat, skinny, furry and ugly......yuck! They were coming at me from all directions.......

Must of dreamt of them because I got rid of a huge spider web at my front door outside on the veranda it was right over my flower garden, it was in my way. I tried to hose it down and it would not budge (I am getting the shivers just thinking about it again...lol) so I go on the hunt for a stick of some sort that I can take the web down, found a stick got the web down and out came this huge fat ugly kind of furry spider. I tried to hose it down well those suckers are tuff he it whatever crawled up the post and I am standing there wonder what to do with it, I can not kill it because that would make me sick (gag, yuck yuck yuck) so I look down and the hose is still in my hand and you would think that spider would come tumbling down...NOT...it hung on by it one thin little strand of web from it behind. I just sprayed down the whole veranda and left it at that all the while I am thinking that this thing is going to jump out at me and attack... When I came back in side I looked on the net for spiders to see what kind it was and if dangerous, from what I could find it is not. Then I looked at how they make there webs, quite interesting. Takes them 1hour to make it and me 1min to break it..... so it has to hate me.....Hence the bad dream.

I did not see it outside to today must be in hiding making it's plan...... itsy bitys spider went up the water spout out came the hose to try and get it out.........

I should not of posted this before I go to bed...........

Guest Map

I just added a guest map on the left under the "Friends" at the bottom. Check it out let me know you popped in. plus I want to make sure it works...lol

*Edited to add*
You don't need to put your e-mail addy

5 weeks pg today *UPDATE*

go for another poke for the HCG beta test. (will post that in the next day or two)

I still don't feel very pg, starting to get tired more and that is it, yes I am worried but trying not to stress about it to much (yeah right...lol.. a person who has had 5 losses not stress about her current pg...hm easier said then done.)

wish for great beta numbers.....

*UPDATE*

Got my HCG Beta numbers in they are at 3171 they say that is right where them like to see it......

Still don't feel very pg, I am more tired then normal that is about it......

Road trip ......

We went on our 1st road trip with Orion. My mum Orion and I went to an old friend of mine Wedding in North Battleford SK. We left here at 10:44am and arrived there are 8pm not to bad for having a wee guy and getting lost....lol

The signs in SK are not very well put in my opinion, either they were missing or so far into the intersection that we could not see them plus you never got a warning as for the turn coming up till you were on it, so much for sharp turns. When we were to turn on route 21 I did not see any route signs till it said route 60 (ah can you say way past the turn off..lol) we were almost into Saskatoon a few miles past North Battleford. I stayed calm, I figured we will get there eventually and this was Friday the wedding was not till 3pm on Saturday so we had a few hours.

We finally made it to the Inn got settled in went and got Mc D's for supper then we went to sleep around 11pm. Around 1am you could hear this loud music (you can tell it was from a car) and of course it pulls up in front of our door they honk the horn and get out laughing, I could hear people talking and giggling then 1/2hr they get back into the car and honk twice (*&*%&#) ok they are leaving fall back to sleep, 2:15am they are back and once again honking there horn playing loud music they did not stay long again and left honking the horn again...... I was growling at this point...lol my mum was not impressed and Orion was still sleeping. Fall back to sleep again ... 3am they are back and yup honking again talking loud so I get up and call the front desk to ask if they had security she said no so I told her that we have some rowdies either in room 114 or 113 not to sure and they keep honking there horn and playing music, she said she'd call the rooms and also the RCMP. after that all was quiet....awe sleep finally..... One lesson learned out of all that is that Orion sleeps threw anything...lol

Got to the wedding it was a beautiful day she was a beautiful bride (well she has always been a beautiful girl) her two boys walked her down the isle holding up her dress for her as she walked across the path to the grass. She walked up to her future held his hand said there vows and sealed it with a kiss

here is Orion with my mum all dressed for the occasion:

silly me forgot his hat in the car.

here is my friend and I

I myself preffer to be behind the camera not in front of it.

All in all it was a nice day for a wedding.

Mum and I drove back Sunday morning and guess what we got lost (we came back a certain way and got lost in the big city that is 3hrs from my home. I have not been there in ages so the roads I thought I knew were closed off so I just drove around waiting for a sign to let me know what way to go...... ah we saw one which lead us to another closed road but I followed the other cars in front of me and then I saw another sign for HWY #2 that is what I wanted...... We made it home at 9pm, safe and sound. Orion was such a good boy threw out the whole trip never complained much only when hungry and a dirty diaper.

Once again I am so blessed with this little man in my life.

I am just a bit PEEVED......

A what use to be a good friend (long story here) we are more of acquaintance.

Well she just had a baby girl (second baby after NEVER wanting any, had an abortion once too) She kind of dissed me and another good friend, yes we are a bit upset by it too.....anyways I just got a phone call from her neighbor that is giving her a baby shower for the baby girl "Aysha" (this is where I am upset) this is the name we have had for out DD if we should have one yes she new this ( I am kind of giving her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she forgot but I really don't think so), dh and I have had this name before we got married and everyone new it I mean EVERYONE, And here she named her DD it after she told me that they were thinking of naming her Adida.

I really don't want to go to the baby shower for a couple of reasons:

1) she dissed mine, after she told my sis she was coming
2) It is at 7pm Orion's bedtime is at 8pm
3) It just erks me and my other friend to pieces because this girl never told or invited us to her wedding (she was in both of ours) never told us she was pg (this is the second time she sprung a pg on me.)

do I have a right to feel this way????

I still don't know if I am going.

I don't want to be mean but then she never thought of my feelings that she never came to see Orion once, she only saw him when I happened to be at some breakfast party she was at (that is were I saw she was pg) then after that she came and dropped off Orion's baby gift he was 9month old at the time and the gift was now to small for him..

If I have a DD I will still use the name "Aysha"

HCG Beta #'s

so finally here they are.

First HCG Level 130 mIU/mL (at 14dpo (day af was to arrive) 4w pg)
Second HCG Level 336 mIU/ml (at 16dpo)
Days Between Tests 2 days

Doubling Time 35 hours
Daily Rate 1.61


They are happy with the #'s, geesh I am happy with the numbers...lol they are better then when I was pg with Orion....lol

So know I need to look into renting a doppler (seems all the other one are in use...lol)

Where should I start......

Ok .... Most of my family knows now, other then my sister in Ont. that my mum reminded me to call.

My sis J was on the phone with me when she opened her e-mail. It took what felt like forever for the pic to load on her computer, when it finally did she read it like .....I'm....gonna....be....a...big.......(pause here)"OMG! Oh Y this is a great way to tell the news.

I had to call my mum and B(10am, I know mum is normally up between 7-8), when B answered he said I saw your news and it is wonderful, them my mum came on she was all happy. B told me later when I came back from my IVIG, that he woke at 7am (which he does not do) let the dogs out then decided to check his email and saw one from me and thought what cute pic of Orion is she sending as it opened he said he had to read it like 4 times before it sunk in then he said he had the biggest smile. SO he snuck back upstairs to mum who was still asleep and he whispered in her ear "I know something you don't know" and gave her hints till she got it..

Then my other sis H phones me from her work asking "So it's 2weeks now are you pg?" I said you have to check you email when you get home, she said It is to dang(not the word she used) slow and probably won't load" then I told her that J was going to tell her to come over to look at it. so she said your pg...lol I said look at the email...lol

My niece calls from her cell and screams "YEAH!, oh it's T by the way...lol" she is all excited and is hoping for a girl.

My sis H calls back later and said I knew it, I knew it ...lol she is happy too.

------

1 IVIG down 6 more to go. When I went to the Day Medicine at the Hospital they ended up putting me in a room with people that could be my grandmothers...lol... The way they looked at me when I walked in the wonder in there eyes, then the nurses would walk up to me and say "this can only mean one thing?.....me "YUP"....."Congratulations they'd say" and as they walked away the other patients looked at me with more curiosity...lol
My blood pressure through out the 2.5 hrs was: 120/70 , 110/70, 106/67, then 110/70.
When the IVIG was down boy did my left arm hurt again it was so hard to straiten it.
I read a book the whole time right now I am reading Summer Sisters by Judy Blume ( an author I loved as a kid...lol)

2 HCG Betas down 13 more to go.
I called the clinic today for my Monday results and when Nurse A called back she said my numbers are appropriate.....what appropriate, I need #'s... She said today's draw will let her know better and she will give me the numbers tomorrow....What again? I can not have the numbers from Monday today? I am thinking I got my #'s with Orion no problem, just goes to show everyone works differently. Hopefully I get the "appropriate" #'s tomorrow..

I am ready for bed and it is only 9:23pm, Good Night all.

I have now entered the world of Progesterone....

The best way to describe it is this is one way to get very intimate with ones self..... I can not ever do it in front of dh, and we do lots of things in front of each other this is not one of them.

I will be calling the clinic tomorrow with my HCG levels, they must be alright because they have not called me today (I know they get the test the next day)

I have also once again became the Queen of TP checking and no sign of spot yet (she has visited with every pg I have had including with Orion) So just waiting for the day she arrives and I will say to myself.....do not panic, do not panic....... I have also been paying more attention to EVERY little twitch, pull and movement I make......... Oh this worrying never stops....... do not panic

I am nervous for my u/s, ONE being it is on Orion's B-day and I don't want anything to mess it up. TWO just plain scared.

I have to tell my mum...

that I am pg because I will be asking her if she can watch Orion while I go to my IVIG treament which starts this Wednesday, so I am going to send them an e-mail 1st... here is the pic

Do you think they will get the hint...lol

I also went for my 1st HCG beta test today lets hope for goo numbers they should around these numbers: today I am 14 dpo (28days since last AF) the hcg levels 3 to 426mIU/ml (with Orion my levels were 154 so if I a mear that I will stay calm), keep your fingers crossed that the tests come back good. Please please pppplllllease.

Oh and my U/S is scheduled for Sept 12 at 10am. prayer we see a heart beat.

Names.....No we are not jumping the "gun"

About 5 nights ago (before I even tested) a boys name came to me. We had Orion's name picked and even our girls name picked before we ever started TTC. For so long I have trying to come up with another boys name that has the same letters as his daddy grandad and gr-grandad (all on dh side) this is the name that came to me........... Rilon (Rye-lun)

When I told dh this today he said he liked it, he kept repeating it and kept saying he is liking it more and more. So it is looking like Rilon will be our next son if this one is a boy.

Oh and DH came home with one red rose tonight (I will get a pick later) He has bought me a rose for every special events in our lives started with our 1st date (which I still have today).

OK continuing on with my OBSESSION...

You guessed it more POAS stuff....lol



I did a little expirament with the save on test PG and OPK test along with the clear blue HPT.
The OPK test came up with 2 line in less the 1 minute as did the CBE but the save on test pg did not show 2 lines for almost 3minutes.

here is a pic after the 3min mark ------->
the two top ones are the save on test the bottom is the CBE

My POAS update....

Orion and I were going swimming today with grandma and granpa, well I just had to go to Wlamart before getting to there house I had to get that HPT, I bought CBE (Clear Blue Easy & One Step (because that one was cheaper...lol) but still bought the 2.

I drive to my mums house by the time I get there I have put the HPT in my shorts pocket so they would not see it, when she came out I said please watch the boy I need to PEE as I dash by her. I get in the bathroom rip open the test and wonder what am I going to do with the wraping so I inspect it to make sure nothing says pregnacy test on it (it did not) so in the garbage it went. So mid strim I POA(the)S it came up looking like a negitive and I just sat there and stared at it, then what do I see change right before my eye..... YES, YES...a +, a BFP ...... OMG!!!! now what do I do?
Stick the test back into my pocket and act like nothing has changed. Later my mum asked me if I was pg yet my response was not too sure yet (well I was not sure...ok denial) said should know by the end of next week. The whole night she kept talking about babies...lol.. I am looking at Orion thinking Oh MY he is going to be a big brother (if everything works out right).

When I got home tonight, I told dh I am going to POAS (He does not now about the other 5tests) he was like OK Then.... and here it is still a BFP (no need for arrows here...lol)

Dh asked me if I am ready I said yes and no...... I am excited and scared.

Oh gosh here we go again...

I will be calling the clinic on Monday and they will set me up with the IVIG and most likely an U/S to make sure baby in in my Uterus.....

Ah lets talk about POAS

For those of us that have been TTC for a long time with infertility issues that little HPT stick becomes your intimate friend, well you come obsessed with it I POAS on 10 dpo and saw nothing. White, white, white no evap line whatsoever.


POAS 11 dpo (probably about 1hr after I did) this is what I see, I put an arrow just in case for those how don't have the eye to see...lol (told you obsessively line watching.)


POAS this morning 12 dpo and this is what I see just after 10 minutes (another arrow to help you out) temp is still up at 37.1 (and normally at 12dpo my temps start to drop, they have not yet)


Yes I know all about evap lines but with these test I looked back on old ones and I do not see any evap lines, then I asked some people on a message board I am on and they too have never seen any evap line on there test either.....
So not sure what to think and you can bet I will POAS again real soon.

I told myself I was not going to do this OBSESS but I caved and tested and well now I am addicted. I am addicted to P'ingOAS. I am not getting my hope up to high.

NO my family does not know this yet, I don't need to drive them crazy with my addiction especially it nothing comes of it, so those that know them don't say a word..... (no they do not read this blog, I gave them the opportunity once long time ago and they never read it they deleted the link.... not realizing what the link was for).....lol

Here is my temp chart:



DPO aka Days past Ovulating

POAS aka Pee on a stick (hpt ~ home pregnancy test)

Please, what are the names of these flowers(UPDATE)

I know people are reading my blog because my count has gone up... (hope my comment section is working...lol) so please let me know you stopped on by even if you don't know any plants...lol.

I planted some seeds that I had hanging around and these are what came up, I think I found a couple but would like to know what the others are.

(Click on the thumbnails to see bigger pic)

#1) I think this is a Celosia



#2) I think Bells of Ireland?


#3) No clue what these are, kind of neat tho... Pretty
I have been told that this is ~ "Love in a mist" .... botanical name Nigella


#4) No clue again, pretty tho
"Bachelor Button" or cornflower, and botanical name is Centaurea


I know this one it is a Silver Mound


thanks, I have been on the internet trying to find some of these, I have had no luck...lol

Thanks to those that left a post...

So much sad news floating around me lately..

In the past month:

A friend losses her unborn baby boy to Trisomy 18

Another had emerg C-sec to deleiver her baby girl at 31w, and has since found out her DD has Trisomy 22 Down syndrom, Yes many children with Downs can still do many things as I know little D will be ok she has a wonderful mommy and daddy and brother and sister that love her so much already. her mommy posted this is what there lives are like right now.

By: Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice Holland has windmills and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

And now anther has just found out her DS has leukemia, he is in the hospital right now he is about 3yrs old he is get transfusions.

This is when you wonder why do these things happen, WHY! Children are so inoccent but yet this happens to them.......... what have the ever done?

And another Zoo day...

Feels like I have been to the zoo more times in this month then I have ever been, I really do not remember going as much when I was a kid. I have only had to pay half price once the other times I got in with a either a friends free pass or someone insitited they are paying. I have walked a lot this last month and Orion has loved it. Oh and also we saw a giraffe run ...lol... I have never seen a giraffe run before, it was quiet graceful at it too I always that it would like clumbsy with the long neck and all but no it is graceful...lol

Can any one tell what this plant is

I would love to know the name of it

I had some seeds that I put in my flower bed and these came up not sure what they are, it starts of green

then goes to this purple wine color

Here are others that I don't know either, the pink and white ones.

Thanks a bunch

11 months

I can not believe he is almost one already..... where did it go?

Week 48

The beginning of the last month of your baby's first year. A year ago you thought it would never end,(so far from the truth) now you are probably wondering where the time went. Time flies when you are having fun right? Or so they sayÂ… (and they were right)

This is probably a bigger month for you than for your baby. Your baby doesn't understand the concept of time, and for a couple more years at least, his birthday really won't mean much to him. However, many moms feel a touch of the "baby blues" as it gets closer to their baby turning a year old. If you find yourself in this position, try to find support in other moms, possibly from a play group, who are having the same thoughts and feelings you are.

What Your Baby Might Be Doing

Your baby and his appetite will go through many changes. About this point his appetite might drop, while his interest in food rises.(this has started to happen) A baby on average triples their birth weight by their first birthday, but only gains a few pounds between their first and second. Don't worry about your baby not eating enough, he will eat all he needs, and will learn early how to stop when he is full.

What You Might Be Concerned About

Everyone around you is excited about your baby's first birthday party that is just around the corner. Everyone but you that is. You might be more concerned about over stimulating your baby, and you have good reason to be.

Even a baby that knows everyone who attends his birthday might find himself a bit overwhelmed at having everyone there at the same time. Keep the guest list down to a select few, or better yet, have a couple of parties, one for family and one for friends. Keep the décor toned down as well. Remember, you baby doesn't understand or need a lot, and it is more for you and your guests at this point.

Make sure you plan the party at a good time for baby. Don't plan it for early afternoon, if you know your baby generally naps then. If he is overtired, he will not have a good time. Don't be afraid to let him eat and play in his cake. Many parents will choose to have two cakes, a small one for the baby to destroy, because he will destroy it if given the chance, and a bigger one for the party guests. Stay away from the clowns and other big "guests" for at least this year.

I have updated his photo gallery so check it out, click on his pic to the right ----->

So what is Orion really up to:

- He still just says Dada no matter how many times I say Mama to him Dada comes out of his mouth.
- He pulls himself up while holding on to my hands.
- He walks while holding our hands (and he is very proud of it)
- Finally starting to figure out that he can put food in his mouth with his own hands (well sort of, the food ends up in his palm which happens to end up in a fist he puts it to his mouth but not but 95% of the time it does not end up in his mouth because that fist will not open...)
- He tries to mimic the cats when they meow.
- He sleeps for 11.5hrs at night goes to bed at 8pm wakes at 7:30am (been doing that since he was 7.5months)
- He does not like it when I leave the room (how dare I)

I am jealous .... Actually very Jealous.........

I am not a jealous person......

I thought I was ok if baby #2 took awhile (since I have Orion), then I see other people with no problem and today it hit hard.

Just a few minutes ago someone we know came by to pick up a gift certificate and well before she came I had this feeling she was pg (they were trying for #3) She walks in the door signs her check then asks me how #2 is coming and I said nothing yet (feeling that empty pit in my tummy) but we will know for sure in the next week and a half. Since she asked I felt inclined to ask her "how about you any luck with #3?" She stands up straight then rubs her hand down her belly and there it was a little bump said she is due in January. All that went thru my head was I knew it, I just knew it, then it hit me I was jealous of that bump and how easy they have had getting pg with there babies, they decide they want another and bang they are pg.
Once again I was reminded of my infertility and I felt some anger and sadness all over, wondering once again WHY why why..... I knew #2 was not going to happen fast either for us but you always have that hope you may get surprised but I guess that is just wishful thinking.