Where have you been????

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Ofcourse I have been across Canada, traveled to The Carribean with a quick stop in at Puerto Rico which I would LOVE to go visit one day.

Got this off of Jules blog

Xmas 2006

We had a great Chrsitmas this year.

Orion seemed to not notice he sat on Santa's lap for his photo, he was more interested in the lights as you see him pointing to them:


And a few of Christmas morning, my mum and stepdad stayed the night. Orion still not to sure what it is all about, I am also glad he was spoiled for xmas this year either. He only got a few gifts no one went crazy on him, which makes me happy because it is not about the gifts.

Here are a few photos: (click on picture to see bigger)

My teary eyed DH

DH finally saw the video I did for William.

When I showed him I kind of stood back, but as it started my dh look back at me and pulled me too him to sit on his lap, tears fell down my face as I watched it agian (I was doing fine before but as I watched it with him it was different) My Dh was taken back with it as the tears filled his eyes too. When it was done he went back to the photo of William and said you just wonder what he would of been like..... then he looked at me and said well done, and I think I will be messed for the rest of the night (not in a bad way)

William's Dance

In memory of our little boy born too soon at 19weeks, 3 years ago today.....

Click on photo to see the video:




or click here:

William's Dance

I think I was giving a sign that all is going to be ok....

that all is going to be ok..because last night or early this morning Orion was laughing/giggling in his sleep and just as he was finished Rilon woke and was rolling and kicking my insides pretty good and when I looked at the time and it said 4am, that is when I thought of my William because you see 3yrs ago today early in the wee morning at 4am my water broke with him.....

That is why I feel I was giving a sign that all is fine, my babies are my little miracles One is here and the other is working on getting here safe..

I needed that sign............... thank you

Family Photo for the year...

Here is the Christmas Pic I took with our Santa hats on, I sprung the hats on DH so he had no choice to wear it...lol (Orion looks like he is up to something)


And here is the Family photo, I will say that Orion did good in 98% of the photos. I guess it is a good thing that I have the camera in his face a lot.lol.

Finally

got the Christmas tree up. I would of liked it up earlier but what can I do, I can not go and pull out all the ornaments and the tree because DH piled up to much stuff in front of my Xmas stuff and being pg I can not get to and well DH is just to busy right now so my mum and sis J came over today to help out. Got to love family, always there for you..... Tree is up still standing Orion has had no interest in it just yet, I am not making it a big deal for him that he'd want to touch so hopefully that works.

Taking Orion to see Santa tomorrow we will see how that goes, will he be smiling in the picture or screaming his head off at Santa to let him go...lol (a photo will follow tomorrow.

Also took photos of my mum and papa bear (B) and they took a couple with Orion turned out cute here is a pic:

one with mommy and daddy will follow soon.......

Dr Update

20 weeks

Dr appointment went great, other then waiting 1hr to see the Dr. Good thing I put more then enough money in the parking meter.

As Orion and I were in the waiting area I notice this one women looked very familiar to me but all I could see was her profile, then she look at her DH to say something and saw me looking at her then her eyes went big and I said I thought that was you...lol When she stood up and saw the big wonderful belly of hers I said you guys did it I am so happy for you (they have being trying for 5.5yrs thru IVF to get pg with one loss) She said baby was due Friday so they are now going to induce her this Friday, her DH was so excited that they get to meet there baby girl very soon.

Well my appointment went well, the blood pressure machine would not work on me so the had to do it the old way..lol.

Weight: 124lbs / 54.6kg
Urine: Normal
B/P: 100/66
my belly measurement was 21weeks (one week ahead but 4 day behind in the u/s's)
Rilon's heart rate was 140bpm (as he kicked the Doppler)

Next u/s is Jan 4th at 11am, next Dr appointment is Jan 9th at 1:50pm

I think that is all if not I will edited this later...lol

What is Orion up to .......

1yr3m (15m) Old

Well what is Orion up to these days.....

He has figure out that he can stand on thing to get higher up and reach for things on the counter, so anything that looks good to stand on he will try it.


He also has figured out how to move around in his little car, by pushing it with his feet. He LOVES to put things together then take it apart, he even like to put things that will fit in to jars, cupboards what ever container he can get his hands on then the hunt is on to find something that will fit into it. He is turning into a little dare devil, he gets into a position then can not get out of it, so mommy comes to the rescue when I hear the call....

I went to Wal-mart the other day and bought Orion and x-mas gift, Mega Bloks wagon with some mega bloks for $9.96, then I went to ToysRus the next day saw the same toy for $29.99 holy crap, I think that is just crazy.
We went to a Craft sale at a women's group thing "Day Break" my friend W is involved with and Orion would not say a word to anyone but as soon as the guess speaker started to talk and the room quieted down guess who else decided to speak. Yup the BOY...lol

By golly I've been tagged.....

Lynanne Tagged me check out her blog: Taking the road less traveled

A - Available or Single? Nope, I am married

B - Best Friend? Cyrena and Wendy (they are the ones that stuck by me thru thick and thin)

C - Cake or Pie? Pie, Strawbeery Rubbarb YUM YUM

D - Drink of Choice? Water or Hot Tea

E - Essential Item you use every day? Toilet paper..lol

F - Favorite Color(s)? I'd say Blue

G - Gummy Bears or Worms? Neither

H - Hometown? in Alberta

I - Indulgence? Nice long hot shower

J - January or February? Hmm they are both so clod here, lets say Feb b/c it is getting closer to spring.

K - Kids and Names? Orion and Rilon is on the way

L - Life is Incomplete Without? My Family

M - Marriage Date? August

N - Number of Siblings? 3 older

O - Oranges or Apples? Apples

P - Phobias or Fears? Something happen to my son or Husband

Q - Fave Quote? "In order to achive what you need, you can never give up" Hope, by Shaggy"

R - Reason to Smile? My son's (His playful ways about him)

S - Season? Fall, every thing changes color

T - Tag Three people: Planet Jules , You Just Never Know, Expressions of Love
(sorry ladies :) )

U - Unknown fact about me? I don't swear

V - Vegetable you don't like? Broccoli

W - Worst Habit? Cracking my fingers (well pretty much alot of my body cracks)

X - Xtremely BIG Husker Fan? What??

Y - Your fave food? Pasta

Z - Zodiac Sign? Aries

And 1, 2, 3 Cool Sites You Should Check Out: Randem picks

Scrap Girls

On Line Conversions

Shes Organized


have fun!

19 weeks

I made it to 19weeks, I dreaded this week it scares me like you would not know. I have been emotional and quiet these past few days..... December is a hard month it marks another year.

Anyways.....

I took a belly photo today for 19weeks also took a lopsided belly shot, this little boy is very active, almost like he is telling me all is well mommy.
(you can click on pic to see bigger)

My lefty UU

Went shopping today Orion was so good the boy LOVES to be out, and loves the lights every time we pass one he points up and says dzee (I believe hes saying light, it is the same sound every time) Guess shopping tuckered him out, must be hard being pushed around and carried all day...lol

He got a few tops and a winter coat out of the deal.

Got to LOVE E-bay

I got a remote for my Canon XT1 (400D) SLR digital camera and it works like a charm.

Could not find one here it the city yet.

I am excited, now I can take family photos..... now only if I can get dh to saty home long enough, that man is always on the go...geesh.

A mini video clip I did

of Rilon's ultrasound



I also add the ultrasound photos to his photo site (to the right)

Ultrasound UPDATE

18w 2d

Well it was fun waking up at 6am (NOT) I woke 1min before my alarm was to go off. I got up searched for my clothes in the dark, had to find my mini flash light. tip toe to the bathroom (not to wake DH yet) get dress, do makeup and hair and then tip toe back out of the room. Time to wake Orion (what a little happy man he is) I see him on his tummy with his butt in the air...lol (that is when I need my camera on me) so I rub his back he snorts,and snorts again then he laughs and looks up at me.... Nice and easy to get the boy up. Get him dressed and fed, I drink my water and eat my cereal. Dh is up. We get out the door at 7:25am appointment is for 7:45am think we are going to make it...lol

8:05am we get to the clinic.

1st off I forgot what rush hour was like, sure glad I do not drive in that anymore..lol
Once again did not have to wait to long. It was the same tech as last time and she remembered us too. The babe is doing great very very active, everything is perfect. The baby is measuring 17w6d I am 18w2d (in all the u/s baby has measured 3 to 4 days behind). She said the baby was a great one to do the u/s on.

So tell me what do you all think of the name - - - -

Rilon (Rye-lun) Clement.

Orion is going to have a little brother.

I will post more photos later, it is better to retake the pics at night time with my digital camera. The photo you see is from the movie from my old digital we brought with us, I will do a belly pic too. thanks again so much......

I can't believe another little boy! I was thinking girl too...lol Guess I should of took the hint when I woke up with the name Rilon in my head 4 days before I found out I was pg...lol

I told DH that for the next one (yup looks like we may try for that girl) we will have to do the deed BD,( aka baby dance) a few days before O to try for a girl because with Orion we BD on O day and with this one or shall I say Rilon we BD on O day too (let me tell you that was a painfull O day too) I am not sure what is worse Ovulation pain or AF cramps. be sure to check back with the photo update later..... A boy! Wow!

Rilon is giving me jabs right now..lol oh which reminds me that my placenta is behind the baby(the back of my uu) that is why I am feeling him move more then I did with Orion, my placenta was up front.

DR update

18weeks

1st off it was flipping cold out yesterday -28 °F / -34 °C.

Well we get there and I am lucky to find a parking spot clostest to the building, I get out to pay for the parking which is $1.00 for every 20min so I put in $4.00 so I have 80 minutes to get in and out off the office. I get in to the clinic forget what floor to go to so I guess Floor 2 door open good guess. I push Orion up to the nurses desk and she tell me I need to go back to the front desk to get my papers, I get the papers, go in to the washroom to do the pee strip test which was normal, weigh myself which was 55.4kg / 122lbs then I sit to have my blood pressure taken still nice and good at 114/74, I then ask do I need to go sit in the waiting room she said nope I have a room for you (I was shocked, so very rare..lol)

As the nurse was asking my questions about my pg I heard the nurse directing Dr O to where I was so when I saw him I waved and he laughed "ah there you are" then looks at me and says "I saw you last year right?" I said "Yup you helped him (I point to Orion) get here" he looks at Orion and says "hmm good looking boy" Orion looks at him and smiles. Dr O then sits and starts to look over my chart, he then says "ah yes you are the one with the Unicornuate Uterus and on the IVIG" . We then went over my history he asked when my 18week u/s is, which is Thursday Dr O then said lay down and we will take a listen as he was looking for the doppler he mentioned for me to book another appoint in 4week (I was thinking what that is sure a long time) and we listened to the Babe's heart rate 155bpm then he said well that is good. He helped me up and then looked at me and said maybe I should check your cervix, which happened to be long and closed. as he helped me up again he said make sure at you u/s that they check your cervix as well tell them I asked them too. Then he said and book your next appointment for 2weeks considering your history we will keep watching you like we did with your last pg.

Next Dr O appt is Dec 12th.

I was in and out of there in 35min, n never fails I put to much money in the parking machine and and that is when the Dr Office is moving fast and if I'd put just $2 in they would of been slow..

Dh & I went out

to his works Xmas party.

When he 1st mentioned it he was telling me that he was not going to go till his co-massage worker said her DH was going so dh said he was going to go now... I said can I not go?? He looked at me and said oh I did not think you'd want to. I said well Orion is older I feel fine with my mum watching him. He then said ok then we are going on a date...lol.

Yes mum and B watched Orion for the night and stayed over.

DH and & went to the party the food was great (Lebanese food) then thru out the night we watched one to many people drinkng just a few too many, we swear one girl was on something else she bit another girls thumb (drew blood) and then at one point she came over to me and said in a drunken high drawl the she was going to drag me and my family to the dance floor... I said to her NO your not...lol DH was ready to jump across the table if she tried to. I was worried she was going to fall on me.

Then I went to the ladies room at one point and there were about 5 girls (in Early 20's) they were decided how high this one girl should be hiking up her skirt. When they finally came out her skirt was just below her but, and apparently she was not wearing underwear! She is a very pretty girl but she is coming off like a slut.... what an image to have.

DH and I got home around midnight because the restaurant turned in to a bar at 11pm and all it took was one to lite up his cigarette and all the others followed.... yuck!

We had fun, we dance some and laughed lots.

Ultrasound in 3 days ....

Thursday morning at 7:45am!

Hoping for open leg vibes and that all is well with this babe.
I can not believe I will be 18w tomorrow.

I will tell you I have been pretty emotional and scared for these upcoming weeks, getting closer to when I lost William makes me so nervous. I have been having some tummy Harding so I just lay down drink more water and they go away, I will mention it to my Dr Tomorrow I see the high risk Dr O at 1pm hopefully it is just my UU being irritable.

And I am still nauseous a lot.

Ultrasound booked

for Nov 30 at 7:45am, when the nurse said that to me I had to have her repeat the time..lol I did not know they opened that early, man that means I have to get up no later then 6am get dressed eat wake Orion feed him (well I will get dh to do that while I am getting dressed since it only takes him a few minutes to get ready). I phoned my mum and told her when the u/s is and the a slowly said what time and she too had me repeat it, said oh um well not sure we will make that one that is to bad. After we hung up it was about 5min later the phone rings and it was my stepdad saying there was a mistake, I said mistake? he said yes we will not be missing the u/s we will be there...lol. They are proud grandparents I will saw that for sure. (200% more then DH's side)

No tummy harding today so that is good.

So what do you all think is it Pink or Blue, hopefully we will get a good peak at the Babe's gender. I am thinking pink myself but hey there is a 50 50 chance of me getting that right..lol

I am not sure but I think

16w4d

I am feeling movements inside, it is like a weird flutter type thing then a jab, not a hard jab just something that I normally do not feel. I have also noticed that my tummy is get hard at times, so I drink lots of water and rest it seems to settle down(it happens more at night time while sleeping). If it keeps happening I will be calling my Dr on Monday. This is what happen to me with William but yet it feels different. Trust me I will be keeping a very close eye or hand on the tummy.

---

I finished William video montage, I cried a few times while doing it, but It is now done. I will post it on the day he was born which is Dec 21.

What is Orion up to....

Well my boy is all boy...lol

He is turning into a stunt boy. He tries to climb the baby gate, He goes after the dog Misty and I am impressed with her because he takes her bone and she lets him (I do keep a very close eye on them together) and then there are the cats the now notice hOrion moves faster now but they let him touch them then they are out of there..lol

He is so close to taking his 1st steps, he pulls himself up then looks over at me and lets go and starts to go up on his tippy toes then he falls on his butt only to start all over again. He also has the little car he ride and likes to scare mommy by doing a pop a wheelie but going on the front tires not the back one, so I invision a face plant but he sees mommy having a heart attach and that is funny to him..lol that is my boy.

here are Orions look alikes.

Something fun, My Celebrity look alikes.....

I guess I can not complain....lol
thanks to Stephanie a buddy blog for the link Expressions of Luv

Dr update on the Babe

15w 3d

I went to Dr N on Friday (I had to go to her 1st before I see Dr O the high risk Dr) Dr N check everything out, did the lovely pap swab, I told her it has felt like forever since I have had one but it has only been 1yr. I guess with all the fertilty Dr looking at me I got use to it, having 1yr without any poking and Dr looking at me inside and out was a nice break.

So when it came time for her to check the heart beat, she seemed proud to show me it (I did not have the heart to tell her that I have a doppler at home to...lol) so I smiled and said that is music to my ears. She said all is looking good and my uterus is measuring where it should be about 15weeks. She went by my last af but she nows that the babe is measuring 4days behind from the u/s's. Then she filled out my prescription for my thyroid and then the recquestion form for all the other tests I had to have. 5 viles of blood they took from me and one of them was really long, good thing needles do not bother me.

I am now waiting for Dr n office to call me back to let me know when my 18week u/s will be.

-----

Last night I was having dreams of William and they kept waking me up, maybe I was having them because a friend was due yesterday to have had her baby boy J but instead 4months ago she had to say hello and goodbye to him and she showed a video that she did for his memory. That got me thinking aging that I wanted to do somthing for William, so yes I guess he has been on my mind alot lately, even my Dr N asked if I think of him often I told her yes I do.

I will make a video in memory of William and I will post it on the day that we had to say "Hello and Goodbye" to him. So thanks to Jules for finally making able to do it.

I called Dr O

14w2d

I mentioned that I was with the fertility clinic and that I am on the IVIG program and the my last baby was a premiee and that Dr O said he wanted to follow this pg aswell and the nurse I spoke with pulled up my name and saw that I was there last year but said she saw no referrals yet, the booking lady S was not in till Thursday. So I said I will call her tomorrow.

Well Thursday came and what do you know the booking nurse called me 1st. My appointment is set for Nov 28th at 1pm. I am to go to my "normal" Dr N 1st to get all the blood work done and to have her set up my 19week u/s, this thru me off because I did not have to do this with my pg with Orion.She then counted to what week I'd be when I saw them she said almost 18weeks (by my books from last af I will be 18w, the babe is still measuring 4days behind) The nurse said that she will fax all the info to Dr N this afternoon so I said then I will call her tomorrow, then and we hung up.

I went out and when I got home there was a message from Dr N's office that they received a fax from Dr O and that they want to set up an appointment very soon. It was to late to call back so I called Friday morning and Nurse R said hello I guess we need to set something up pretty quick..lol. So Friday it is on the 10th of Nov 10am.

Forgot to mention Fertility Clinic update

When I went to the clinic I saw Dr W instead of my normal Dr S (I have not seen much of her this time around) Dr W said all looks great and they are going to release me then he went on to say that the risk for me to miscarry past this stage is very low. I just looked at him and wondered have you read my big fat file that you are holding? So I said to him, well I have had a 19w loss so the odds are against me and Dr O (another Dr at the clinic, who has his own clinic for highrisk out side of the fertility Clinic plus he follow me with Orion's pg) said he wants to follow my pg again. Dr W said oh do you have a referral for him? I said, No, Dr O told me so himself at my last appointment here that he wants to follow my pg agian. Dr W then said, Dr O told you this? Yes Dr O did, I am on the IVIG program and my son was a preemie. Oh says Dr W, I will get his office to call you for an appointment.

I have waited the week so I am going to call Dr O's office to see if they have my file yet for an appointment. Because I am NOT going to have happen what happen when I was pg with William. It took forever for the Dr B's office to make an appointment (almost 2months!) and when they did finally call my appt was for Dec 30 (almost 3months since last) but I ended up going in to preterm labouron Dec 21st with William and we know what happened after that (heaven is where he is) . Monday I am calling Dr O.

There is a baby in there....

12w6d

Update on the Nuchal Translucency ultrasound.

The babe was pretty active, it took 3hrs to finally get the fluid measurement that they needed.....(so I am thinking girl...lol)

Baby is measuring 4 days behind which they are not concerned about and at my 1st u/s babe was measuring 4days behind. Heart rate was 153 bpm. Everything appears normal.

The risk of Trisomy 21 is 1 in 2,059
and the risk for Trisomy 13+18 is 1 in 10,548
so we are looking good.

I still can not beleive we were there for almost 3 hours, the baby would not cooperate kept flipping and turning and bouncing around it was quiet fun to watch because Orion never moved around like that, this one must have more room or we are in trouble.
Orion was so good thru out the whole time Grandma and grandpa were there watching him so that did make it easier.

Here is the newest member of our family: Babe

I am in awe still, it has really started to hit home more now I actually do have a baby in there, yet again..lol More u/s photos in Baby #2 gallery (to the right)

They are saying due date for May 5 2007 but I know we will not make it to May.

Nuchal Translucency U/S today

12w6d

So if any can send some good U/S vibes our way that would be great.
Nuchal Translucency u/s is at 1:30pm then I also see the Dr a the fertility clinic at 3:30 aswell for my last appointment with them since I am past 12w I will then be moved onto Dr O. whom I had with Orion, he said he wants to follow me again with the pg.

Orion will be with us so lets hope he is a good boy since the appointment is at his nap time. Should be interesting..

I listened to the babes hb last night and counted it to be at least 150bpm. (I counted the hert beat for 10sec then times that by 6 to get the BPM.)

Oh and the werid thing is that my last AF was July 25th and when I had my last u/s the Babe measured 4days behind so the nurse wrote down on my requesition form for the Nuchal u/s that my last af was July 29th, so when I called her and asked about it she said that they make it from the u/s not af....what?? So basically they are telling my that I had af on the 20th when she was really here in "real" life on the 25th...interesting. So when I go to the scan today they will as when I had last AF and I will tell them July 25th.

What a mixture

Hormones & dreams with that combination my dreams are strange.

DH had to wake me a couple of nights ago due to me breathing heavy. When he woke me I said thank you then started to laugh as I thought of my dream.. I was dreaming I was on a pirate ship and these alein type things that glowed came flying out of the water chasing the boat so I saw a rock on the floor and picked it up and then leaned over the edge of the boat and was waiting for this thing to get closer and closer and I was getting scared because I had to wait for it to be really close (hince the breathing heavy) .... When dh woke me I was almost ready to toss the rock at it and praying that I hit it....

the next night:

I was dreaming of spiders that they were in my room beside my bed in a sink and I was blowing them away, that is when I woke up to me blowing then I stopped and thought wait a minute there is no sink beside my bed, So I was dreaming again..... back to slep I went.

Thump a thump a thump

(11w 5d)

is what I finally heard ..... what a sweet sweet sound.

I bought a doppler off of Ebay, it works like a charm. Having a doppler sure can ease the mind just that much more.

I feel a little guilty about this pg because it is not on my mind as often as when I was pg with Orion, I guess he keeps me distracted which in a sense can be good right? But yet I feel like this baby is being "neglected" in a way even though it is not.

How you doing.....

eh eh eh (in other words)

I went grocery shopping with Orion and when I went into the produce area this other mom went by with her baby "girl" (about the same age as Orion). *1st picture this Orion is sitting in the cart with one leg threw the hole the other resting straight out on the seat, his back is leaning on the side of is and his arms are resting with one on the back of the seat the other on the front handle. So he can look at me and see what is in front of him,* anyways back to the baby girl...... Orion see her and starts to grunt and yell Eh eh eh at her then reaching at her with his right arm and he kept doing this till the mom and the baby girl look at him and then Orion puts his hand up like a wave and says Ayeeeee and laughs. The mom with the baby girl has her dd wave at Orion and then they (the babies) giggle.... and off we went our separate ways...

He is smooth already, watch out girls Orion is on the prowl........

My baby or shall I say my little boy's 1yr check up..

He is getting so big.

As we were waiting you could hear the screams of the other babies and toddlers getting there needles. Everytime there was a scream Orion would look at me and smile, I was just waiting for him to scream back like the Wall-mart baby call the other day but he did not....Whew...lol.

Orion did well he let the nurse weigh him then measure his length and they are:

Weight ~ 20 lbs (9.07kg)
Height ~ 29.3 inches (74.5cm)

he is almost at the 50%. Now for the needle....

The nurse takes us into room 4 sits us down and explains what Orion will be getting (live viruses) and that it could take up to 40 days for any reaction. Orion was watching her as she was getting the needles ready then she asks me to hold onto his wrist. Then she comes around and says this 1st one does not sting and pokes Orion in the arm, little man did not jump but when she took the needle out he started to cry a little. I then held his other wrist and the nurse said this one sting (the measle one) and up it must of because Orion let us know...lol The nursee opened the door to her room and as I walked out Orion went quiet, like he was relieved to be out of there. Other then that 2minuts of crying my little guy was once again a trooper, that is my boy.


Now daddy has to go get the shot for chickenpocks because he does not think hes has had them and the nurse said it is very dangerous for an adult to get it. Orion can break out in "wannabe" chickenpocks and it he does and if dh happens to touch those little white welts (that will have the virus) she said dh will get it, so off to the needle for him. I have had the chickenpocks when I was a kid so I am good to go.

The baby call....

I went to Walmart this afternoon (yes I shop there). There was this other baby somewhere in the store and he/she would squeal, Orion would laugh then he'd squeal then you'd hear the other squeal and so on and so on it went on the whole time we were there even in the line up. That boy of mine has quiet the squeal on him in fact he squeals like a girl..lol.

Photos with my new camera

Once again it is a Canon XTi 400D This was taken at a park not to far from where I live:


A duck in the park:


And my favorite subject:


thanks for looking

PG update....

9 weeks 3 days

Spot has vanished for now that is, still do the TP check everytime.

I gag every morning, before I eat my breakfast. My levels must be good still because the clinic has not called me in a panic. My belly seems to be sticking out a bit more already...lol I guess I will have to start taking belly pics but that makes me nevous because I don't want to jinx myself.....

He's crawling he's crawling

my little boy is crawling......

I was upstairs in my room with Orion when he got up on all fours and crawled to me, what a joy that was to see but yet sad at the same time, my baby is growing up.

So I took him downstairs so I could video it for proof to daddy because if I don't get the proof little man will not do it for daddy...

Here is a link to the video: Orion Crawling

Bad dream....

I was dreaming I was watching Orion laying and playing on the floor then all of a sudden I could see he was choking, in this dream all I seemed to be able to do is watch it all.........
So I wake up throw the covers off me sit up in bed and then I realized it was all a dream because if he was choking or not breating I would hear it on the baby monitor or the angel care monitor would be going off. So I lay my head back down on my pillow close my eyes and pray not to have another dream like that.

You know...

8w4d

We make plans for this new baby we have picked names for this baby, meanwhile in the back of my mind I know all to well that ANYTHING can happen. I have lost babys at 6w, 9w, 12,w, 11,w and 19w, and had Orion at 33w, It could very well happen again. I am not going into this pg with a blind eye because I know the pain that can happen all to well, I just choose to try to be positive about it and that is what I am doing even tho I am still spotting I have weird pains every now and then and the ONLY pg symptom I have is gagging with food and the smell of Orions diaper. It freaks me out some that my breasts are not sore like all the other times (this is where I have to remind myself that every pg is different) ... One minute one hour one day at at time is all I can do.

Two more pearly whites I see

Orion's 2 eye teeth are starting to show there way thru and once again little man is taking it like a champ no complaints what so ever.

Orion has also started to do the army crawl a couple of days ago, it is quiet funny to watch but he gets around. He tosses a toy infront of him then drags himself to it then tosses it again.

Chinese Gender Chart

says I am going to have another boy.... Here is a link to the Chinese Gender Chart
I believe we have a boys name picked, now the middle name DH says the same middle name that he has along with his dad and granddad and ofcourse Orion, now is it weird to have siblings with the same middle name?

Hopefully I will have 5 to 6 more months to figure it out.

I am shaking here

I just ordered a camera Canon Rebel XTi 400D off the internet (an Ebay store, YIKES), this is kindof SCARY..... this is alot of money I ended up spending about $300.00 more then I planed (those dang upgrades they get you on). I was nervous to tell DH that I spent a bit more, when I did he smiled and jokingly said theat means he has to work 48hrs for that camera..lol then asked it if I am excited...lol. It should be here in about 2weeks time.


Comes with:

Plus 1 Sigma 18-50mm F3.5-5.6 DC
Plus 1 Sigma 55-200mm F4-5.6 DC
Plus 2 Lens Pouches
Plus 2 Lens Cap Holders
Plus 2 Lens Hoods
Plus 2 UV Filters
Plus 1 2-Gigabyte Compact Flash
Plus 1 USB Memory Card Reader
Plus 1 Deluxe Carrying Bag
Plus 1 Deluxe Video & Photo Tripod
Plus 1 Camera/Video Mini Tripod
Plus 1 3 Pc. Lens Cleaning Kit


As I mention I upgraded a few things.

I can not wait to get my hands on it...lol Poor Orion and the cats, the boy can't run from me yet but the cats can...lol

Please let everything work out good, PLEASE.

Well it is nice to know I made a nice bed for

some bunny this morning...lol



then DH left for work....Run bunny run...



Yes it snowed here and today it is to be a high of 5°C

Need to go buy a coat and hat for the little man.... Walmart here I come.

My Miracle my Dream .... Turned one today....

Happy 1st Birthday Orion

I am still truly amazed by this little boy, he is everything and more that I had hope for.... The emotions that feel me when I think back to 1yr ago today, I was at work when my water broke at 9:30am. Dh met me at the hosp. around 11am (I think) 12 hours and 1minute (fr when my water broke) later our son entered this world crying at 9:31pm, 2 weeks 4days later he came home from the hospital.

Here are some more pics of the birthday boy:

Orion's 1st Birthday Party

We held it on the 9th since he real b-day was on the week day.
(click on pics to see bigger)



The birthday cake:


He is not to sure about the cake..lol then he started to cry either from everyone signing to him or he did not like the feel of the cake...lol


the day after...

Ultrasound update.

7 weeks 0 days

When I arrive at the u/s clinic I was surprized not to have to wait to long. Then the girl took me to the back and gave me a gown (which I new was the wrong gown, I mentioned it to her) that is when the other girl came up and said oh you need to give her this one. As they walked away the I heard the one say "I never seen one come in for that early of one..."

I put on the blue gown and sit and wait and once again I hear my name sooner then I expected..lol. I peek out of my dressing room to see a guy u/s tech and well the thoughts that went thru my head I was hoping so hard that I would not need a vaginal u/s (because there was no way I'd want him to do it, a Dr is different). So he asks the normal questions "when my last af was" "how many pg's I have had" "How many children I have" Then he tells me to hop on the table (please no vaginal pleeease) I pull the gown up as he asks he then places the paper sheet on the lower half (I am thinking ok this is weird) I then ask him for pictures, yes I know it is just a blob but we want pics please.

As he was scanning my belly I saw that wonderful sight right away, my baby's heart beating....breathe........ and no vaginal u/s needed....lol

Introducing baby #2: (click to see a bigger pic)


Baby is measuring 6w3d I am 7w today, heart rate was 125bpm which is good. He also should me the Subchorionic Hematoma pic below


Ultrasound all done time to see the Dr. Which is a short 30sec walk across the hall.

Dr O walks in and looks at me and ask "I have seen you before?" I said "yes you watched me with my last pg" he said "Oh yes, how is your son doing? He was born early right?" me "He is doing great and yes born at 33w" He said baby is looking good so far and that there is still some bleeding around it, they will keep an eye on it. Then he is looking at my chart and asks if Dr S was referring me back to him? I said she has not mentioned it yet. Dr O said that he wants too see me again, so he will make a note of it in my file and mention it to Dr S. He then asked if I was back on the IVIG. Yes I am. Then he said I will definantly be watching you not many other Dr's other then the fertility clinic know much about the IVIG treatments.
Dr O also said that in theory my UU should hold this pg a bit longer maybe a week or two more but I am not guaranteed that he said I am pretty sure you will have another preemie..... You are a complicate case....lol

Nice to know I am complicated but I am gald he will be my Dr once again.

TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN (2001-911)

This was sent to me in an e-mail:

WHOEVER WROTE THIS SHOULD STEP FORWARD AND CLAIM IT!
THE WORDS ARE POWERFUL:

TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN (2001-911)

Two thousand one, nine eleven
Three thousand plus arrive in heaven
As they pass through the gate,
Thousands more appear in wait

A bearded man with stovepipe hat
Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"
They settle down in seats of clouds
A man named Martin shouts out proud
"I have a dream!" and once he did
The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."

Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
Others in khaki, and green then say
"We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."

From a man on sticks one could hear
"The only thing we have to fear.
The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
Trust us sir, we've passed that test."

"Courage doesn't hide in caves
You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
The Newcomers had heard this voice before
A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores

A silence fell within the mist
Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
Meant time had come for her to say
What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day

"Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
Watched our children play in sports
Worked our gardens, sang our songs
Went to church and clipped coupons

We smiled, we laughed,
we cried, we fought
Unlike you, great we're not"

The tall man in the stovepipe hat
Stood and said, "Don't talk like that!
Look at your country, look and see
You died for freedom, just like me"

Then, before them all appeared a scene
Of rubbled streets and twisted beams
Death, destruction, smoke and dust
And people working just 'cause they must

Hauling ash, lifting stones,
Knee deep in hell, but not alone
"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
Side by side helping their fellow man!"

So said Martin, as he watched the scene
"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."
Down below three firemen raised
The colors high into ashen haze

The soldiers above had seen it before
On Iwo Jima back in '45
The man on sticks studied everything closely
Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly

"I see pain, I see tears,
I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear."
"You left behind husbands and wives
Daughters and sons and so many lives
Are suffering now because of this wrong
But look very closely. You're not really gone.

All of those people, even those who've never met you
All of their lives, they'll never forget you
Don't you see what has happened?
Don't you see what you've done?
You've brought them together, together as one.

With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
"Take my hand," and from there he led
Three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven
On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven

Author UNKNOWN (What a shame!)

Dare I say it.....

6w5d

I am nauseous ( I so do not want to jinx myself) but when I woke this morning I felt ill, I gag eating breakfast, the thought of just eating through out the day made me want to dry heave I have also wanted to just sleep today but I can not little man keeps me busy..... and yet this all makes me smile with happiness...
2 more days till my u/s.

Ultrasound update....

6w3d

As you know it I happened to hit every red light and there seems to be construction on every corner, I arrived 20min after they wanted me there.

Well Dr S saw right away that the baby is in the uterus (that is good news). Then she saw a blood clot and said that is why your bleeding then she looked at the baby and said "ah there you see it a nice beating heart"...... then I breathed.

Dr said that I seem to find every hiccup in the road thru a pg, she told me no sex and to take it easy. Easy hmm I have Orion's B-day party tomorrow, thank god for my mum and sisters they already offered to do what ever is needed to be done.

Anyone have a story of a succseful pg with a clot?

still not out of the woods tho...... Hope there is still a beating heart at my u/s next week.

Going for an ultrasound....

Nurse M called back from Dr S office (Fertility Clinic) and she said that Dr S would like me to come in for an u/s at 11:20, I am nervous. This means Dr S must of thought about me at some point and wondered what ws going on.

I feel doomed but yet still hoping for the best.

The thoughts that go thru my head....

As I put Orion to bed. I kiss him say I love you and as I am holding him I wonder, truly wonder, is he really my "miracle" will he be the only one that was able to fight my body and escape it alive. I have to wonder this because really how many women actually bled with all of there pg's I am pretty sure not to many.... and here I am on my 7th pg and bleeding and only so far one baby to show for it all, my miracle boy.



5 days till my u/s to see how this wee one is really doing or has my body yet again fought off another precious soul................ 5 long days. (sigh)

Let take it one day at a time

that is what the Nurse said, Dr S wants to take it one day at a time because my numbers look great and I have no cramping. If things change I am to call them and if it is after hours to go to the hosp.
I still have my u/s for the 12th. I anything does happen I pray it does not happen on Orion b-day party on Sat.

Please little baby stick & hold on tight..........

Clinic called back... *Edited*

after I called them at 8am.

Tuesday when I get my blood drawnin 6w pg the #'s were 24,436 that is great.

The Nurse M asked a few questions and said she will talk with Dr S about it and see what she wants to do...then call me back.

I feel somewhat more at ease, dh let me have a nap this morning...lol

So I wait for another call...

----

I just went to the bathroom blood was on my pantie liner and it was not just a spot...

Dang it.... I see blood .....

I am crying.

It could be nothing it could be the progesteron irritating my cervix or it could be the unthinkable happing yet again....

I will call the clinic 1st thing in the morning...... why why why can't it be easy for once..... WHY!

I have no cramping but then I don't have any pg symptoms either other then my HCG levels rising (which I will get the results tomorrow from Tuesdays blood draw)....... maybe the clinic will beat me to it and call to tell me they have dropped, which would not be good......... hoping for the best.

6 weeks 1 day pg today

still don't feel pg, and that has me worried some. Ultrasound is booked for the 12th next week, holding my breathe till then....

About You
Your uterus is the size of a plum, your breasts may be incredibly tender, and, ugh, you may start feeling some odd symptoms, though for some women the morning sickness doesn't kick in until later (if at all).


About Your Baby
This week your embryo is working very hard to begin growing its nervous system. There's a primitive heart now, and just wait until it can show you its love! Tiny buds have appeared, and if all goes well, these will someday be arms to hug you and legs to kick at you during temper tantrums. By now, your baby displays reflexes in response to a touch! This means his nervous system is communicating with his primitive muscle cells. This communication forms the foundation of all your baby's behavior even after birth.

Orion's 1yr check up...

I can not believe he is going to be a one year old next week.

Dr N was happy with him, she said he is looking good and doing very well said she loves his eyes.

Birth / 1 year
W ~ 4lbs 2.2 oz 20lbs 3 oz
H ~ 17 3/4 inches 29 1/2 inches

He did not like her holding him (he is going thru that stage now nobody but mommy can hold him) so he cried some but once back in my arms he was smiling, it is so funny how fast the switch the tears on and off..lol I will start to introduce Homo milk to him.

When I got home dh was here so I told him the info and he said what is that suppose to mean (duh it means your son is growing and he is healthy) then he said what does the charts say and not the 1yr the ten month...... What??? Yes I know they adjust preemies age for the 1st 2 yrs but the boy is ONE he was born one year ago (yes his adjusted age is 10 month 1week but yet he is one) and another thing dh said after I told him that Orion and start on Homo milk he asked "So does that mean he will be off the formula?" "yes" I say. Then he says "So that means you have to feed him." "Um he is eating now, (if you'd stop being such a workaholic you would see that ... I thought)" The man is driving me crazy, maybe it is my PG hormones but he is so on my nerves lately.

I am having Orions b-day party this weekend, his 1st taste of cake.

A Yummy recipe....

It is very easy, make sure you do the couscous part to "Make it a Meal" at the bottom of the page and make sure you follow the direction on the box for the couscous. (I use the whole box) Click on pic to see bigger.


Hope you like it too.

---

I had a peacful sleep last night no creepy crawlies came to visit....

I HATE bad dreams.....

I got very little sleep lastnight. 1st Orion woke at midnight so I went to him (he had that cry that I new he needed me) all I have to do is put my hand on him and he quiets down but as soon as I'd take my hand off he'd start cry (this is not him) so I pick him up and cuddle him close, he lays his head on my should and I rock him (I do not speak, I just hold him) and he settled down after a few minutes I lay him back down and off to sleep he went....Must of been a dream....

I go back to bed no problem falling back to sleep but man I had a bad dream and it was the kind of dream that kept coming back no matter how many times I woke to shake it....it just kept coming back.....Dang spiders were everywhere all types big, small, fat, skinny, furry and ugly......yuck! They were coming at me from all directions.......

Must of dreamt of them because I got rid of a huge spider web at my front door outside on the veranda it was right over my flower garden, it was in my way. I tried to hose it down and it would not budge (I am getting the shivers just thinking about it again...lol) so I go on the hunt for a stick of some sort that I can take the web down, found a stick got the web down and out came this huge fat ugly kind of furry spider. I tried to hose it down well those suckers are tuff he it whatever crawled up the post and I am standing there wonder what to do with it, I can not kill it because that would make me sick (gag, yuck yuck yuck) so I look down and the hose is still in my hand and you would think that spider would come tumbling down...NOT...it hung on by it one thin little strand of web from it behind. I just sprayed down the whole veranda and left it at that all the while I am thinking that this thing is going to jump out at me and attack... When I came back in side I looked on the net for spiders to see what kind it was and if dangerous, from what I could find it is not. Then I looked at how they make there webs, quite interesting. Takes them 1hour to make it and me 1min to break it..... so it has to hate me.....Hence the bad dream.

I did not see it outside to today must be in hiding making it's plan...... itsy bitys spider went up the water spout out came the hose to try and get it out.........

I should not of posted this before I go to bed...........

Guest Map

I just added a guest map on the left under the "Friends" at the bottom. Check it out let me know you popped in. plus I want to make sure it works...lol

*Edited to add*
You don't need to put your e-mail addy

5 weeks pg today *UPDATE*

go for another poke for the HCG beta test. (will post that in the next day or two)

I still don't feel very pg, starting to get tired more and that is it, yes I am worried but trying not to stress about it to much (yeah right...lol.. a person who has had 5 losses not stress about her current pg...hm easier said then done.)

wish for great beta numbers.....

*UPDATE*

Got my HCG Beta numbers in they are at 3171 they say that is right where them like to see it......

Still don't feel very pg, I am more tired then normal that is about it......