Merry Christamas

Christmas was good this year, cheer and Bright.

WE went to my sisters Janice for Xmas dinner and it was YUMMY! It was also a brown Christmas no snow this year it was actully warm out normaly it is freezing this time of year.


And one with Gramma (my mum)

A Dream lost ....

It is still hard to believe 2yrs ago today our hearts were broken and so so heavy with pain over the loss of William. That day was so hard to get past (it was a very bad dream moving so slow) and then to even think we'd have another son 2yrs later. So today I want to say mommy loves you so much William and I thank you everday for helping your little brother Orion to get here.

I like to think that when Orion is staring off to nothing and smiling that he sees William smiling back..... Truly a Miracle with a life time of Dreams.................

He Laughs....

but in his sleep. What does Orion have to dream about that is funny? I would love to see what goes on in his little head.

Orson (DH aka Daddy) was holding Orion while he slept and out came this laugh like a little chuckle and a big ole grin on his face and then back to sleep he went... hmmm

Guess who is 9lbs 15oz...

yup Orion my little piggy..lol He is 23inches his little curve on the scale did a spike Dr is impressed. I asked about formula and she went and gave me 3 cans of Enfamil... I love my Dr.

It took my 1hr to get to the Dr office which is normally a 30min dr, all this construction on the roads is driving me crazy, It took me 15min to get thru one set of lights because of it. grrrr

Got to the Dr they were about to call me they figured it was traffic and then trying to find a parking space exspecially one that I know I will get the carseat in and out of and not have some person park like a sardin neck to me. When I got in to the office the Nurse D came right around from her desk and took Orion from my arms and gave him a big hug (she loves babies) As we waited in the room Orion started to get fussy (wants to eat) and he is naked except his diaper so buy the time Dr N walks in Orion is crying she whispers sweet nothings in his ear he quiets down a bit she weighs and measures him real fast then he starts to scream again. When she was done she asked if Orion was going to see Santa today, I said that was my plan but I totally forgot and did not dress him right but I thought ohwell he still looks cute. Set up Orion's next appt for Jan 19th then we went on the hunt for Santa. Surprizinly there was no line when we found him nice and smooth.......ahhhhhh

Here is a pic of Orion with Santa, ofcourse Orions tongue is sticking inbetween his lips again..lol

How did that happen....

3 months already, my baby is growing


It is hard to beleive that in 3months we will be TTC again I will be back on the fertility meds and the IVIG so that means no breast milk for Orion. I want to start giving him some formula now for him to get use to it (only maybe one feeding a day) but I don't know which one to get there are so many out there, any Ideas?

Oh and Orion has been sleeping for 5hrs at night for that last few nights..... whoo hooo.

Photos

Finally A family pic
(click on pic to see bigger)

And of Orion (a little something I played with)

Schedule???

Should Orion be on a regular schedule now? I have know clue, I try to do a schedule but either he starts to cluster feed and throws it off or DH throws it off, don't get me wrong DH (Orson) does a wonderful job he is so hands on with Orion I could not ask for a better DH and a daddy. So for those who have BTDT any thoughts on scheduling let me know. On the 27th we went to uncle Johns b-day dinner and my sister Heather thought it would be cute to put Orion in the roast pan, well he did fit. Here is my little Turkey

(Click on pic to see bigger)

Orion seems to spit up A lot latley after every feed, is this normal?

He also scared the living b-jeeshes out of me yesterday by holding is breathe while sucking down the bottle then trying to catch his breathe and turning blue at the same time.... he is out to scare me & it is working.

A smile like no other

I finally caught Orion's smile on camera (dh says it's a yawn, but I do know the difference)
got to love it.

click on pic to see bigger

A night like any other....

Orion did not show many (if any) signs of having a hard time with the needles. The only reaction he had was being very sleepy and the nurse said he could be either very sleepy or crabby. Sleep was good.

He did have a lot of mucus, was choking on it today, not sure if that is normal we will see how he does tomorrow.

What a little trooper I have.

Orion's 1st needle

for Diphtheria, Tetanus, Pertussis, Polio, Hib, Pheumococcal Vaccine & Meningococcal Conjugate Vaccine all that in three little needles, two in his left leg one in his right. All that in his little legs.

When I got to the clinic, (I was late because I got lost, and the place is just down the street as I found out) I had to feed Orion (3pm) so she took me into the staff room so I could feed him. When he was done eating they had me go into an open room with other parents and told me to take off his clothes leave his diaper on. So I did so and stood there with my naked baby in my arms (at least they had it warm in there) Orion was comfy. The nurse came out and looked at me and said this must be Orion since he is the only little babe here. She had me put him on the weigh scale she took his diaper off (all I could think was pleeease don't pee) and he was a whooping 7lbs 15oz (3.6kilos) up 40z from Wed. appointment(he didn't pee). Then she had me hold his head up against the frame so she could measure him without him wiggling down. he was/is 21inches (53.5cm) his head measured 38cm. He is in the 25% for weight, 50% for length and 70% for head.

Then came out the needles. The nurse and I spoke while she put the right dose in for him, we discovered that we both go to the same fertility Dr. and spoke of our infertility some. (it is amazing how people open up to you when your open about it all)
Now come the needles she takes Orion's leg as I am holding him while he sucks his soother she pinches up his skin then POKE little man jumps and whimpers then quiets down, then she does it again and again he jumps and cries a little this time then we switch him to do the other leg she does the same thing only this time he jumps and cries out loud longer and holds his breathe, Nurse says they save the last needle for a reason it stings. Poor little man still holding his breathe we ring a bell to see if that makes him breathe, nope does not work so I take his soother and rub it against his gums and shushed him and that worked. As a dress him he whimpers some then is quiet. Then mommy goes and gets her flu shot (my 1st one ever) nurse said would be best if I got it since Orion is only 2months old and a preemie at that so I did it.

Orion is asleep right now he whimpers here and there a bit we try not to move him to much since it hurts him but so far he is doing well. A tough little man I have.

We do this all over again when he is 4months, 6months, 1yr, 18months then Pre-school.

Well time for his 9pm feeding.

Orions Dr update

he is 7lbs 11oz now. Slowly climbing up the scale.

It is funny when I have been out with Orion because people respond to him by saying, oh he is a fresh one, or he is new, but when I told them he is 2months old they are shocked..lol Buit he so small...lol... Yes I know.

2 months already!!

I have heard people say it goes fast but I did not think that fast, Orion is 2months today, he is just got out of his preemie clothes. WE or shall I say he has a Dr appt on Wed I think he weights about 8lbs then he goes for the 1st needle on Saturday, not sure how I am going to take it. Needles don't bother me but they are putting it into my baby will it bother him then it may bother me....lol

Orion's Photo Blog

Snort snort....

I have never heard a baby snort so much...lol. or I have never noticed, do they all snort?
I need to tape him...lol

I have been blessed with a good happy baby (so far) the only times Orion cries is when I/we change him ( seem he does not really like his but exposed..lol, that will change in time won't it) or we don't get his food fast enough.

I am a (proud Exclusive Pumper, EP) Orion was just not catching on to feeding at the breast so in order for him to get my breast milk is to pump for him. I will say it is not easy to pump every 3hrs but a mommy's got to do what a mommy's got to do, right. You need to pump for at least 20min for each breast so that means I would pump for 40 minutes till today my Pump in Style (double breast pump) arrived to day...yippee. I bid for it on e-bay and was the higher bidder this pump normally sales for almost $400.00 here I got it for $72.00 including shipping ( gotta love E-bay) so now I only pump for 20min ( I have 20 min of my life back. In the beginning I was only a bottle ahead of him now I am like a day and a half ahead. I can't wait till I get more ahead because you can freeze breast milk up to 7months in the deep freezer and since we will be TTC (Trying To Conceive) again in March I will not be able to "breastfeed" Orion (I will be back on the meds & IVIG) so I hope to have enough saved up for him that he can still have breast milk after March.

I am proud to say my little man is gaining weight he must weigh almost 8lbs now. His cheeks are getting chubby and his little legs are showing some meat on them not just looking like skin only. Well time for his 3am feeding.

Orion's Special Quilt

Here is Orion on the Quilt Jules (a very dear Sista) made just for him.

(click on pick to see bigger)

We love it Jules, you did a wonderful job.

Orion's Dr update

All is going good,

Weight~ 6lbs 4oz
Hieght ~ 18.5 inches long

he eats about 65ml a feeding (which is every 3hrs)

Dr said he will be caught up in no time.

Orion's Party (Baby Shower)

What a party and it was all for him! To celebrate the newest Miracle to the family and friends.

Orion was a Star he was so good, he stayed awake for pretty much the whole thing from 4:30pm to about 10pm. His eyes were big and bright checking everyone one out as they checked him out (maybe he was sizing them up..lol) Orion only started to cry once when it got real loud so I took him into a quiet room for a few moments then he was happy again. I am impressed with my house it held all these people, no one fell through the floors..lol

Overall it was a great night, my sisters H & J did an awesome job setting it all up. I will say that
I was and am dissapointed in a couple of friends of mine, out of 4 (close) only one showed up, and one was having a dinner that was pre-planned already could not come (which is fine) but the other 2 said they were comming did not. This bothers me because I went to thier baby showers in a dificult time in my life ( when we lost William) I still showed up happy and supportive for them when I was having a really hard time being there and still greivng my son. I guess that is where people differ in the way they see and feel things, it's just another reality in life.

Here is a funny: For the baby shower my sisters put up signs to follow to my house for guest to find well this lady walks in to the house takes here shoes off my sis and I look at each other then I look at the lady and ask her if I can help her, she said where the baby stuff for sell... HUH my sis pips up saying no this is a baby shower, as I was still looking at the lady. She then says oh sorry & put her shoes on and left.... lol When she left I said to my sister I thought she was someone you knew sis said nope I thought you knew her...lol

Picture of my boy

Here is my attempt to taking a photo of Orion, he kept sliding down(guess the material was slippery) and he looks so skinny...lol

Went to Fertility Clinic today..

So Dr Scott and Orion could meet.

I walked in to the office and asked the receptionist if Dr Scott was free so she could meet the little man she helped create to be here. The receptionist went to the back and told the nurse to let Dr Scott now I was here with the baby. I waited a few moments the I saw Dr Scott come out with a nurse and student Dr. She said he looked great and that everyone in the office was keeping tabs on me thru the pregnancy. She said that all my u/s came thru this office 1st before they went on to Dr O's office ( he works out of the clinic as well) Dr S said that every now and then the nurses would ask if she (me) had the baby yet or asked how I was doing. I then asked her if I would still be on file in 6 months to TTC again, she said oh yes you will be. The other nurse (whom I have not met) said your going to try so soon? Dr yes said considering her history Multiple losses abdominal ectopic and a 19week loss & a unicornuate Uterus on top of it all, not a good history to wait to try for to long.
As Dr S. went back in a couple of other nurses came out to see Orion too one said she took over from Chelsea and that she was to keep tabs on me for her..lol.. never new we'd be so popular with the clinic.

They called Orion the Miracle Baby.

Orion Dr update

The days are already flying by... Orion is 1month already

Orion had a Dr appt today he now ways 5lbs 6oz she said he has gained 25grams per day for the last week. My little boy is getting chubby cheeks. Why is it that people ask if he is a boy even when I have him dressed ALL in BLUE... One elderly lady even said "Oh she is so cute." I am like SHE??? he is dressed in blue and he looks like I BOY,(does he not??)

Orion is quiet alert in the mornings after his morning feed he stays awake for like 2hrs just looking around hanging out in either mommy's arms or the cradle.

Had Turkey dinner last night for Thanksgiving and the family were fighting in who gets to hold Orion next. When DH and I walked up to the door my mum came out and hugged us saying that seeing us walking up the sidewalk with Orion gave her chills of happiness.

Oh and guess what I fit into today...... yup my regular pants... woooo whoooo ...lol.

Funny thing about my appt, I thought the Dr appt was for yesterday so I drove the 35min drive to her office to only find when I get there that her office is close locked tight, it did not even cross my mind that she took Thanksgiving Day off. So did the drive again today guess I want to waste the gas.

DH came home and told me sad news today, one of his clients grandson passed away on Wednesday of meningitis this baby was born the day before Orion was. I can not imagine what that mother is going thru, I look at Orion and I know my world would fall apart if anything (god forbid) should happen to him.

DH is wonderful...

He came home from work and said, "go get some sleep, I will watch our boy. Ah some sleep has found me...lol

I only slept for 3 hrs but it was great, DH stayed up till 2am even tho he had to work in the morning he let me sleep.

Even the other night I went for a nap and slept for 6HRS I cam running down the stairs said I am sorry but how come you did not wake me (this is at 4:00am) you have to work in the morning? he said well you need your sleep I said yeah but you do to, he said that is ok.

I new I loved this man for a reason...

Orion meet new Dr

I arrived a bit late, guess I have to time it better now that it is now not just me that has to get ready Orion needs a FEW things to go with us too.... babies can pack a bunch of stuff...lol. When I walk into the Dr office the nurse behind the desk was not the one I normaly see, but she did know about Orion because she said when she saw him "so this is the little miracle, he is beautiful"

Dr N was so happy to see him, she said he is perfect (and he is) she sang to him.... she even said what a little miracle.

He weighed 4lbs 14oz almost 5lbs.

---

Today was Orion's & my first outing together other then driving home from the Hospital. So I strolled up & down the mall to show him off...... Yes I am PROUD!

Bye bye sleep??

OMG.... I new this was coming but man my body is in shock...lol and it is only going on the 3rd night....yikes!
I wanted to cry in the wee hours this morning. Every little grunt he made I had to look in on him to make sure he was fine.

Sleep will find me again someday soon..............

Orion is home!

after 2 weeks 4 days in the Special Care Nursery he is finally home.

I remember the nurses saying that once he hit 35weeks that things start clicking and he will start doing much better and sure enough on the 24th he was 35w and bang he started to take the bottle better. On Wednesday when I went in Jennifer the LC nurse said we will (Orion & I) be rooming tomorrow night, I go all teary eyed because that ment he was most likly coming hom on Friday...omg! My boy is doing so good.

5 years of TTC has finally washed away, I will never forget the journey that has made me who I am today.....

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

by Lauren Hill


You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
there's nothing else to compare
the sight of you leaves me weak
there are no words left to speak
but if you feel like I feel
please let me know that it's real
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

chorus:

I love you baby and if it's quite alright

I need you baby to warm the lonely nights

I love you baby, trust in me when I say:ok

Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray

oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay

and let me love you, baby, let me love you

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night.
I love you baby. Trust in me when I say it's OK
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray.
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay.
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

Orion's birth story...

I woke up Monday moring got ready for work and I felt just fine.
On my drive to work Orion was kicking up a storm so I new all was fine with him too. I got to work at 8:30am The new girl I am trainging for my postition has arrived aswell (she was only hired last monday) at about 9:30ish I remembered I needed to call my OB to schedual my next appointment with him, as I was talking with the nurse I felt some fluid come out of me (you know where..lol) I ignored it thought it was just a bunch of CM coming out, So I hung up the phone and sat there a moment (why I don't know) that is when I felt more come out...hmmmm I thought. I went to the bathroom and that is when I noticed that it was clear fluid not the thick creamy CM I normally have...hmmm.

I went and asked a couple of the girls that have had kids what it was like when their waters broke, one said hers never broke on there own the other said she had a big gush of fluid, From then on "k" kept following me around because she said I was going into labor while I was in denial..lol. I stayed at work a bit longer when I had more fluid come out, the girls made me call the Dr.. The nurse said sounds like your waters and transeferd me to the hospital labor and deliever floor they told me to come in right away so they could test to make sure it was my waters. I hung up the phone said to the girls guess I am going to the Hospital, I called dh when he answered I asked what he was doing, he said he was "just checking his scheudal for work , why?" I said "Well I am on my way to the Hospital." he said REALLY with so much excitement in his vocie and that is what made me start to cry, It was finally happening.... I said "Yes really, I have had some steady fluid and they want to check it out, so I will meet you there." I could not stop crying when I was done talking to him. "B" came up at that point to comfort me some saying it's ok, my boss came around the corner at that time and asked whats wrong I said I think my water broke. He said well that is great news why the tears? I could not speak just shrugged my shoulders and waved my hands with a nervous giggle...lol. That is when "K" pulled up in her car ( I did not even see her leave to get it) and insisted she was driving me to the Hospital No way they would let me drive.

"k" asked if she could do a little prayer for Orion. I said sure. She said a prayer and asked for everything to be alright with Orion and that he comes out healthy. When "K" pulled up to the Hosp. I saw DH already there waiting (that is the 1st time he has arrived before me..) As "K" pulled away she yelled out the window "I expect to see you back at work for 2pm Y...lol"

DH & I went to the Labor and Delievery floor (5th Floor, unit 51) They were waiting for me, the nurse took me into a big room and when I walked in all I could hear were heart beat monitors beating away sounded like a bunch of little drums going. Dr came to see me a few minutes later Dr H (a resident) she asked us questions we told of my history. She then checked me internally did a swab check and yup it was my water that have broke she also noticed that my cervix was open a slight bit when she left I mentioned to DH that I am having back pains and was not sure if it was labor starting or just in my head. Dr Nick came to see me with Dr H they explained that they were going to give me some antibiotics and IV to hopefully stop labor, that is when I told them that I was having some back pain dh was timing them it was every 20minutes well that got them jumping to get the IV hooked up to me, DR N was wanting to prolong labor till I reached atleast 34weeks (which was friday) DH & I just looked at each other as we knew Orion was coming tonight.... Dr H came back about 1/2hr later (3pm'ish) and check my cervix again and said I was 2cm dialated and at that point they got a labor room ready for me and wheeled me on over. My contractions were coming closer togerth at this point so the Dr order some morphine to take some of the edge off (it worked for a bit) The nurse also notice that either my heart rate was dropping or orions she could not tell, she called Dr N back to the room. Dr N came in and watch the heart rate monitor and was not so sure himself so with me being 2cm dialted he decided to insert a little monitor on to Orion's head. Dr left us alone again. Dr N & H came back a few times to see how things were going I remember the nurse telling them that the contraction are pretty close. At this point my mum/stepdad and Sister have arrived and were hanging out in the room with us. I remember telling the nurse that the contractions were getting very strong so she called back Dr N he came in pretty quick and decided to check my cervix (which is quiet uncomfortable when you are in the middle of a contraction) I was wiggling about so he stoped when the contraction ended I said to him Ok quick check it out...he laughed. He checked and seemed shocked because I was 8cm dialated then he doubled check to make sure yup 8cm. (the time was 7:50pm) he said now is the time to decide if you want an epidural or not I hummed and hawed looked at DH he said your the one in pain you decide..lol so I opt for the epidural. I swear the epi Dr was waiting out the door because he was there in a matter of seconds. The needle for the epidural was not bad it was the STAYING STILL part thru a contraction for him to insert it, poor DH was feeling it..lol.

After that I was able to relax some but ended up getting the shakes from the epi I was relaxed but my body felt like I was convulsing at 8:30 I told the nurse I felt like I needed to push, she aksed me to push when I did she was inpressed so again she called Dr N he came in right away checked the cervix again I was 10 cm, that was when they asked my sisters and stepdad to leave (mum stayed in the room) and no sooner did they leave that about 10 other medical staff came in to the room introduced themselves (Dr's for Orion since he was a premie) It was quite funny because Dh ended up knowing the resident Dr that was assisting in the delievery with Dr N. (this was her 1st hands on delievery) I was now pushing.... then the urge to push would stop and we would all sit and wait for the need to push again, it was like at one moment that all I needed to do was push push push then nothing and we would wait again..lol. At one point Dh was checking the video camera and the Dr yelled for him to come look and see your babys head, DH came charging over. DH was holding a mirror so I could see Orion's head and with every push see him come out more, All I kept thinking in my head was OMG can I do this, to I am doing this, to I can't do this, to OMG his head I am doing this.... when Orion's head was almost out I started to say OWE OWE OWE I felt the tear then I thought I just need to push and I did and my little boys head popped out... the Dr then wiggled his shoulders out and that is when I heard the most wonderful sound my SON's 1st cry, then I cried. DH kissed me and kissed me, Dr N asked if dh wanted to cut the cord which he did. Then Dh went to the side where they were checking out Orion. I was trying to see but there were so may Dr in the way but I could hear him cry. I remember my mum still standing there staring at me with the camera in her hand I said mum go to Orion take pictures, she was like oh yeah...lol... I think grandma was in AH.


After they where done I got to hold Orion for a few moments gave him a kiss and I fell inlove all over again..






They took Orion and DH to the SCN (Special Care Nursery) and the nurse stayed with me had me shower then she wheeled me to meet my son.

Apgar scores: 9 / 9.5

Orion Clement is here

Orion made his entrance into the world on September 12, 2005 at 9:31pm (7weeks early)
weight: 4lbs 3.5oz (1931g)
lenght: 17 1/4 inches (45cm)

(click on pic to see bigger)

I will post his birth story later, I am spending most of my time at the hospital with him. We hope he comes home in the next 2 to 3 weeks.

Orion's photo gallery

I am finally a MOMMY to a earth angel...

New Years Eve....Happy New Year

Ahhhh What are my goals for this year.......

To be a good wife, mommy , sister and friend.

Where did 2005 go? It flew by so fast maybe because I was preoccupied with my pg (pregnancy) .

We went to my BIL brothers house for New Years. I really did not feel like going out that night but DH said yes that we'd go, it's a pain to go places right now since I pump my milk for Orion (he does not breastfeed from me) so I have to lug around my pump, baby diaper bag and my sweet little boy and if I don't bring the pump or don't pump within 4hrs my little breast become little ROCKS sometimes they get so hard it feel like the move up my chest (the swelling) it is uncomfortable, when who had babies will now this men well men will never know or yet understand my dh does not really get the full picture even though he did see me bawl my eyes out a few days after I had Orion because my breast were so hard and so so red and sore.
Anyways once we got there it was fine I was able to pump in their bedroom.
Orion was a very good boy did not cry until I got him ready to leave.

Happy New Year all!